5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Filing for Divorce

It’s no secret that the holiday season is a time of year when many couples begin to contemplate or move forward with plans to divorce. Whether it’s the stress of the “maintaining appearances” during the holidays that lead a couple to realize their marriage is over, or the desire for one or both parties to get off to start fresh in the New Year, it’s common to see an uptick in divorce filings in early January.

Are you contemplating divorce as 2013 ends and 2014 begins? Deciding whether or not to stay married may be one of the most significant decisions you will ever make. It’s definitely not something to take lightly, nor a choice to make in haste. So how do you know it really is time to start moving forward with a divorce filing? Here are five important questions to ask yourself: Read more

Preparing for Your First Solo Post-Divorce Thanksgiving

Whether you are separated or newly divorced, will this year mark the first Thanksgiving you will be celebrating without your spouse? Depending on your circumstances, you may be feeling relieved at not needing to “fake it” through another meal with your in-laws, sad and angry over the change in your cherished family traditions, unsure about what to expect when you show up at your parents’ house without your spouse…or some mix of all these things. Read more

Surviving Wedding Season When You Are Recently Divorced

We’re smack in the middle of wedding season right now, and your mailbox may be filled with at least one, two, or more invitations to friends and family members who are getting married this summer. Read more

Mother’s Day for Single Moms

It’s not Thanksgiving or Christmas, but Mother’s Day still can carry with it much of the same kind of emotional baggage that holidays and other family celebrations do when you are separated or newly divorced. Is this your first Mother’s Day since your split? Things may be very different this year, but one thing is the same: You are still a mom and you still deserve a special day.

How can you celebrate your new status as a single mom? Here are some ideas for how to create a day filled with joy. On the other hand, are you a dad wondering how to help your kids honor their mother, even if she is no longer your wife? We’ve got tips on how to make that happen, too. Read more

Will Your New Year’s Resolutions Include Divorce?

You may have seen one of our recent ads that, tongue-in-cheek, touts divorce as the diet that can help you get rid of 180 pounds of dead weight. Yes, we’re trying to inject some levity into a situation where there is usually very little to laugh about. But there is another reason why comparing divorce to diets seems apt. Read more

The Gifts of Divorce – Holiday Shopping Ideas, Too!

It’s the thick of the holiday shopping season, a time when most of us are hitting up sale after sale in order to cross a few more names off this year’s gift buying list. However, when it comes to buying a gift for a friend or loved one going through the heartache of divorce, finding the perfect present may be a bit more difficult than picking out a new sweater or buying the latest tech gadget. Read more

Post-Divorce Holiday Survival Guide: 2012 Edition

Thanksgiving is here and the December holidays of Christmas, Chanukah, and New Year’s are right around the corner. We’ve shared tips before on how to survive the holidays when you are separated or going through a divorce. But another year has passed, and we’re back with some all new and updated ways on how to enjoy this special season, no matter what your marital status. Read more

Divorce and Valentine’s Day

While most people think of Valentine’s Day as the most romantic day of the year, for a surprising number of couples it’s one of the least romantic. That’s because reports show that divorce filings increase by about 40% around Valentine’s day and inquiries about divorce go up by about 36%.  Perhaps February 14th is to divorce lawyers what April 15th is to accountants.

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Bari Weinberger – The Voice of Central Jersey WCTCAM Radio Exclusive Interview

Central New Jersey’s 1450 WCTC AM Talk Radio Bert Baron talks to Bari Weinberger with this EXCLUSIVE interview aired yesterday, Tuesday, January 17, 2012.

Hear this on-air on-demand podcast radio interview and learn more about family law attorney Bari Weinberger. Included in the interview is a discussion about our vitally-important webinar: The 5 Critical Risks of Divorce!

Surviving the Holidays After a Divorce

For most of us, the holiday season conjures warm, fuzzy images of special meals, family gatherings, and children unwrapping presents. But what happens when divorce turns these cherished traditions upside down? If you are divorced or separated, it is all too easy for the holidays to feel lonely, stressful, and downright depressing. But it doesn’t have to! If you are newly single–with or without kids–here are some easy tips for making the post-split holidays fun and enjoyable.

1.  Prepare to Feel Emotional

Family therapists report a sharp increase in appointments with recent divorced individuals and families during the month of December. It’s little surprise why. Holidays are a unique time of the year and thinking back to all those Thanksgiving meals at your in-laws is often a potent reminder of the “good old days” before divorce. Be ready to experience a mix of emotions, from anger and resentment to jealously, depression, and sadness. Make an appointment with a therapist as needed, but in the meantime, be prepared to have an emotional reaction to everything from Christmas songs on the radio to sappy holiday TV specials. As a way to cope with post-divorce holiday depression, one divorce therapist has his clients recite: “I am human; I will probably feel sad; and I am ready!”

2. Create New Traditions

To maintain equilibrium during what can be a very difficult season, think about this first year after your divorce as a chance to celebrate the holidays in new ways, whether it is sharing a meal with friends and neighbors, volunteering, attending special holiday events in your community or place of worship, or seeing members of your own family. If you have children, keeping certain traditions–like opening presents of Christmas Day or lighting the Chanukah candles–is important for feelings of family continuity and security, of course. But establishing new rituals can be a powerful way to honor the family you are right now.

3. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Alone

If you don’t have children, or if your kids will spend the holiday with your spouse, recognize that there are worse ways to spend the holidays than by yourself. If you have the day off from work, fill the day with activities that are sure to lift your spirits. Rent a few comedies, get some exercise by going for a walk or hitting the gym, and do things that make you feel satisfied and happy, whether it’s fixing something around the house, reading, or playing with your dog.

4. Keep the Family Intact

Are you on reasonably good terms with your former spouse? If you have kids, you may want to consider spending parts of the holidays together as a way to acknowledge and honor the family that was, and most likely still remains, a huge part of your children’s memories, say family therapists. Attend your children’s holiday concerts at school together, invite him or her to come over for brunch or a gift exchange or for whatever tradition you shared as an intact family. However, don’t force it. If there is lingering hostility between the two of you, it may be best to skip the get together–and the stress and tension you would likely all feel.

5. Be Flexible

When kids are involved, try to work out holiday child custody arrangements well in advance, but stay open to making sure these plans remain what is best for your children. If this the first holiday season since your divorce, children can, depending on their age, have the same or stronger emotional reaction as grown ups when trying to cope with this new situation. It may be very important to your child to see his or her other parent on the holiday. Even if you can’t stomach the thought of sitting in the same room as your spouse, try to come up with a solution for your child’s sake. Get input from your child as to how he or she would like to spend the holidays, but to avoid disappointment or a scarring experience, do all the negotiating behind the scenes with your spouse. Bottom line, your child does not need to hear tense phone calls discussing what you will–or won’t do–during the holidays.

6. Do Something Different

Who says you need to eat cranberries and stuffing from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve? View this year as a way to redefine your holidays and celebrate on your own terms. Have you always wanted to go to a yoga retreat? Travel to a warm destination in the middle of December? Be a ski bum for the week? If you are newly single, and the thought of being around your married friends and family members just seems like too much, considering setting out on your own. You may be surprised by the number of other singles you meet and how much fun having a non-holiday can be. If you have other single or newly divorced friends, invite them along for an adventurous kick off to your new life.

7. Greet Your New Life

If your annual holiday greeting card was accompanied by a family portrait, photos of the kids, and a letter running down the highlights of your year, there is no reason not to continue with this tradition. Have a friend take a great photo of just you (or you and your kids) having fun and include it in this year’s mailing. This simple gesture can be a wonderful gift to friends and family to let them know that you are surviving–and thriving–in your post-divorce life.

If you find that you need help managing child custody issues or post-divorce matters this holiday season, please call us at (973) 520-8822 or fill out our online form to schedule a consultation.