Worried that your high-conflict ex will be the grinch who steals your holiday good cheer? You can’t control what your drama-seeking former spouse does, but you can strategize ways to manage the crazy so you and your kids can enjoy this special time of year. If you keep in mind what motivates narcissists, you’ll know what to expect — and know how to cope! Read more
Grandparents caring for their grandkids is becoming more and more common these days. Most of the time, the arrangement is between family and not court ordered. But, there are situations where grandparents want to formally adopt their grandchildren. Is this possible, here in New Jersey? Read more
Spousal spying may be the newest form of spousal abuse and it is sadly becoming more and more common as technological advances make it easier for one spouse to spy on the other. How can you tell if your spouse is inappropriately tracking you? Read more
There’s nothing quite like the holiday season, with its emphasis on family togetherness, to make a newly divorced person feel alone in a strange, post-divorce land. Everything feels different. You may not have the time nor desire to deck the halls or you’re worried about letting your kids down if you can’t afford the biggest tree or stuffed-to-the brim stockings. And you’re sad about all the traditions that won’t take place this year.
While it’s normal to feel a surge of grief around the holidays, you don’t have to let anger, sadness, and denial spoil the season. The best way to manage a blue Christmas is to acknowledge what you’re missing and focus on what you’ve got. Read more
When you decide to divorce and you have children, securing time with your kids through custody arrangements and parenting time plans is often the most pressing issue to resolve in your divorce — and also the most contentious. How do you know which custody options are right for your children? How do you see beyond your own hurt to make healthy decisions for your family? And how can you avoid custody battles that end up leaving everyone scarred in their wake? Read more
Deciding to divorce can be a very emotional choice to make, for good reason. But the decision you must make after that — choosing the date you will actually file for divorce — requires more strategic thinking.
Your divorce filing date profoundly affects certain financial aspects of your overall divorce settlement. Because it signals the official beginning of the divorce legal process, your filing date can also impact you and your children psychologically.
When is the best time to file for divorce? Every divorce is different, but for people who have made the decision to divorce in the fall or during the holiday season, the answer is often January.
Here’s why: Read more
The last thing that may be on your mind when contemplating filing for divorce is picking your divorce attorney. You are hurt, confused and worried about your kids. But, this decision is one of the most important you can make during the divorce process. Here are some tips to help you pick the best one for you. Read more
Many parents know that they want to file for child custody, but some are not sure where they should file. If you are new to New Jersey or have recently moved back, you may be surprised to learn that New Jersey may not be the right state to file your custody application. Here’s how to determine where you should file. Read more
Making decisions in divorce fueled by hurt and anger may feel temporarily satisfying — but in the long run only sets the stage for an expensive, antagonistic, and psychologically damaging process that will leave you drained and your co-parenting relationship ruined before it even starts. Avoid disaster! Read on for tips on how to keep your divorce on a more even keel. Read more
Marriage to a spouse with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is tough, but divorcing one can be even tougher. Mrs. BPD is acutely sensitive to any real, or perceived, threat of abandonment. She has difficulty regulating her moods, making her prone to extreme reactions. Similar to narcissists, those with BPD have black-and-white worldviews: if they believe you’re on their side, you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but if you look at them the wrong way five minutes later, you’re charred toast.
Mrs. BPD may not be as Machiavellian as her narcissistic counterpart, because she’s driven by emotions she can’t control. You can’t change your BPD spouse, but you can learn ways to defuse the conflict she incites and manage your own reactions to her.