8 Ways To Protect Your Kids From The Fall-Out Of A High-Conflict Divorce

divorce parenting

Studies show that it’s not divorce in itself that hurts kids in the long-term; it’s the level conflict that lingers between parents. Being successful at the job of being a divorced parent requires finding ways to deal with any contempt for or anger towards your ex, and support your children’s relationship with their other parent. If your former spouse cheated on you or walked out on you for any number of reasons, you may still be in bad place of deep hurt. However, unless your child’s other parent is abusive or there is a legitimate issue that renders your former spouse unable to parent (a mental illness or substance abuse issue that impairs their daily functioning), learning how to manage your feelings about him or her so they don’t bleed over onto your kids is a co-parenting must. Read on for some helpful tips on how to get yourself to a better place. Read more

New Jersey Supreme Court Issues Opinion on Special Immigration Juvenile Status Cases

child immigration

The New Jersey Supreme Court recently issued a decision in two consolidated cases, H.S.P. v. J.K. and K.G. v. M.S., clarifying the role of family courts in special immigration juvenile status (SIJS) cases. This opinion brings attention to the grave circumstances that can drive families to send their children on perilous journeys across international borders, and discusses the legal process involved in seeking one potential avenue for such children to establish legal residency in the United States. If you are the parent, relative, or friend of one of these children, this information may be of great value. Read more

High Conflict Divorce: When Co-Parenting Doesn’t Work, Try Parallel Parenting

high conflict divorce hurts kidsCo-parenting, viewed by therapists and family law professionals as the gold standard for post-divorce parenting, works when both parents are willing and able to set aside their personal grievances and support their child’s relationship with the other parent. To do this, both parents need to be able to communicate calmly, follow the conditions of the custody and child support order, and agree on a plethora of child-related issues such as medical care, education, religious training, and discipline.

Negotiating child rearing is a tall order, even for two people who love each other. It’s an even taller order for two reasonably well-adjusted people whose irreconcilable differences have led them to end their marriage. But if both people are determined to keep their children off the battleground of their divorce, they can usually learn the skills necessary to become successful co-parents.

High-conflict personalities, however, frequently lack the motivation to co-parent because, by definition, they are unable to work through their anger at the other party. Read more

Free Range Parenting v. Helicopter Parenting: What is the Law in New Jersey?

iStock_000016682576XSmallThe New Jersey Law Journal has just published an article by attorney Bari Weinberger discussing how laws that attempt to protect children can impact a parent’s right to make decisions. “Free range parenting,” Weinberger explains, “is a term coined in reaction to what some consider to be a recent trend toward over-protectiveness of children. Free range parents perceive this over-protectiveness, sometimes called “helicopter-parenting,” as a futile attempt to protect children from every conceivable risk of harm, potentially at the expense of a child’s development of age-appropriate independence.” Read more

5 Rules for Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce

Co-parenting is often considered the gold standard for parenting after divorce, but what does this term even mean? Read more

5 Summer Co-Parenting Tips For Divorced Families

Kids playing at the beach

With schools out for summer, it’s normal for parenting routines to change. Bedtimes tend to be later, kids might attend camp or lessons, and maybe a special trip is planned. For divorced or separated parents, summertime can mean even more changes in your family life, some of which may be stressful, especially if your kids will spend extended time with their other parent or your agreed parenting time schedule changes over school vacation.

Not sure how you will manage summer vacation as a co-parent? Here are 5 tips on how to cope and keep your cool. Read more

5 Tips Celebrating Your Child’s Graduation When You’re A Divorced Parent

High school graduation hats highGraduation season is officially here! If your child is one of the thousands of New Jersey high school seniors about to don cap and gown as a member of the class of 2015, emotions may be running high — for both you and your graduate — as your child reaches a true milestone in life. As a divorced parent, it’s normal for some of these emotions to relate to your child’s other parent (your former spouse). Whatever the status of your relationship with your ex, your former spouse’s presence at your child’s graduation may stir up past resentments or magnify currents ones.

What can you do to celebrate your child’s graduation with all the joy and happiness this special moment deserves? Here are five strategies for getting through graduation without letting your ex get in the way.  Read more

Getting Divorced When You Have a Special Needs Child

iStock_000026294630XSmallWhen married couples with kids decide to divorce, child-related issues related to child custody, parenting time, and child support take center stage. New Jersey family law makes it clear that decisions made during divorce regarding children must put the “best interests of the child” first. Determining any child’s best interests can be a challenge. But when a couple’s divorce involves a child with a chronic illness, autism, physical or learning disability, or other special needs? Suddenly, determining “best interests” can easily become complicated.

If you are getting divorced and wondering how your child’s special needs will be addressed in custody and support determinations, here are three key pieces of information you don’t want to be without. Read more

Trying to Modify Your Child Custody Plan? Here Are 3 Steps To Take Right Now

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Is your current parenting time or child visitation plan just not working out? If you are considering seeking modification to an existing New Jersey child custody order, it will be important for you to provide evidence as to why a change to your custody order is in the best interests of your child.

What kind of evidence can shed light on why a new custody arrangement or visitation schedule is needed? Here are three key pieces of evidence to have on hand. Read more

Wife Forbids Contact With Children After Husband’s Affair

Divorce and Separation concept

Luke and Karen have two young children. After discovering Luke was having an affair, Karen informed him that she would be filing for divorce and that he was to pack his bags and leave. Luke moved out, but specifically rented an apartment nearby so he could still be close to the kids. Once he was settled in, Luke called Karen and asked her if the children could spend the weekend with him. Karen told him in no uncertain terms that he was not worthy of seeing his children after what he did to her, and promptly hung up. Karen then refused to take any more of his calls or answer his texts.

Luke had no idea how to proceed or what his rights as a father were. He was aware that couples with children who divorce end up with a child custody order as part of their divorce decree. However, he and Karen were only separated, and it would be some time before their divorce even really began (Karen had yet to serve him with papers). What was he supposed to do in the meantime? Read more