Parenting Time Vs. Visitation: What’s The Difference?

Questions about parenting time?Parents who are separating are often faced with the difficulty of working out custody and determining how, going forward, the children will spend time with each parent now that they are living apart from one another. It is always the goal to work with your ex-partner to determine what plans work best not only for you and your ex, but more importantly, for your children. Children thrive by being with both parents as much as possible, and this makes coming up with workable solutions in everyone’s best interests. Continue reading

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Tips for Relocating With Your Children Out of State

relocating with your children out of stateYou have gotten that dream job and you are all set to accept the offer. But, there is one issue. The job is located in Florida and you live, with your children, in New Jersey. What is the best way to approach relocating with your children out of state? Here are several tips to help you navigate moving out of state with minor children: Continue reading

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Negotiating Your Marital Settlement Agreement

Negotiating Your Marital Settlement AgreementMany people have terrible visions in their minds when thinking about divorce. They expect to face a scary judge and a stressful trial. The truth is that, in New Jersey, the vast majority of divorce cases settle and they settle long before a trial begins. In fact, the courts in New Jersey greatly favor people who are divorcing to settle their own issues and work together to come up with an agreement that both husband and wife can live with not only at the time the agreement is signed, but also into the future. Remember, any marital settlement agreement will follow these ex-spouses around for a long time, especially if terms of the agreement discuss children.

So, how do you successfully negotiate a martial settlement agreement? Here are a few tips to help get you to a place where you are ultimately at peace with your marital settlement agreement: Continue reading

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Divorce & College Tuition Costs: What’s Your Obligation to Pay?

divorced parents and college tuitionIt is that time of year, again. High school seniors are making final decisions, touring campuses and selecting, once and for all, where they will attend college in the fall. If you and your child’s other parent were married and are still together, this can be a joyous time for all involved. However, if you and your ex are no longer in a relationship, this can quickly become a challenging and frustrating time. What is your obligation for payment of tuition for the next four years? What is your say in these decisions? Continue reading

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How To Get A Divorce Like Gwyneth: 3 Top Tips For Conscious Uncoupling

Conscious Uncoupling: Divorce Like Gwyneth PaltrowWhen Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin ended their ten-year marriage in March 2014, they announced their intention to protect their children by having a “conscious uncoupling.” Millions scratched their heads at this lofty moniker: what was “Conscious Uncoupling?” Some sort of artisanal divorce, if there could be such a thing?  Or was it something new altogether? As it turns out, Gwyneth borrowed this phrase from therapist Katherine Woodward Thomas, whose book Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps To Living Happily Even After provides a blueprint on how to take a more mindful approach to divorce.

Conscious Uncoupling: From Break Up To Breakthrough

Simply put, Conscious Uncoupling is the mindful process of turning a break-up into a breakthrough. According to Woodward Thomas, divorce hurts not just because of what’s happening in the present, but also because it re-opens old wounds: the trauma from our own parents’ divorce, perhaps, or from growing up in a family where we didn’t feel valued. When we don’t recognize how we manifest versions of the same story in our adult relationships, we feel victimized when they end. This sense of victimization is at the core of every ugly divorce, making childhoods rife with conflict and effective co-parenting almost impossible.

Conscious Uncoupling gives people an opportunity to unpack their toxic relationship patterns, re-write their skewed personal narratives (“I’ll never find lasting love;” “no one gets me”), and relate to others in a healthy, adult manner. It allows people to re-frame divorce from a personal failure to a relationship that ran its course. Charting a new, positive path for yourself and your children is possible, but not if you’re still stewing in resentment: blaming your ex for destroying your life and screwing up your kids.

Conscious Uncoupling In Your Own Divorce

Curious about what conscious uncoupling looks like in practice? Here are some tips on how to end a marriage with mutual respect, kindness, and a commitment to putting children first.

1.    Don’t pathologize divorce. Nothing is “broken.” Accept that the relationship has naturally run its course.

2.    Own it. Recognize that you are both responsible for what happened in the marriage – it’s not just you and it’s not just your ex.

3.    See the divorce as an opportunity to shed toxic relationship patterns. Example: you no longer twist yourself into a pretzel in order to make a relationship work. When you show up as your authentic self, you are more likely to attract a truly compatible partner.

4.    Be conscious of your “story.” Personal narratives that are common in divorce usually involve some version of victimization and blaming. Instead of telling yourself the marriage failed because “men can’t be trusted,” ask yourself what you did to invite bad behavior. This doesn’t mean that you caused your ex to cheat on you. But you probably did things to foster a breakdown in emotional intimacy: neglecting your partner, criticizing your partner, colluding in a don’t-ask-don’t-tell dynamic. Accept responsibility for your part, and move on.

5.    Don’t surround yourself with Haters. People who echo your nasty sentiments about your ex like a Greek chorus. While hearing others eviscerate your former spouse may feel like support, it’s also a way to hold on to your old story.

6.    Have compassion for yourself. Just as it’s inaccurate to lay all the blame for the divorce at your ex’s feet, it’s just as misguided to believe the divorce was all your fault – despite what your ex may tell you. Remember: you did the best you could at the time.

7.    Practice mindful awareness. The next time you’re inclined to fire off a hostile e-mail to your ex, ask yourself: what purpose does this serve? Will criticizing your ex  change the fact that your mother was an ice queen? Will it create a positive co-parenting dynamic? If the answer is “no” (and it probably is), don’t do it!

8.    Self-reflect to get your power back. What was positive in the relationship? What did you really want? What could you have done differently? When you understand how you co-created the dysfunctional dynamic with your ex, you can trust yourself to make good choices in the present.

Not everyone can consciously uncouple. High-conflict personalities most likely will never be able to brunch together with their kids every Sunday, like Gwyneth and Chris. But reasonably well-adjusted people who are capable of developing insight, personal accountability, and problem-solving skills can divorce with dignity.

Would you like to explore how certain legal decisions you make in your divorce can support conscious uncoupling? Our attorneys are skilled at finding collaborative solutions for your divorce needs. Please contact us today to schedule your free confidential consultation.

Read More: How Does Collaborative Divorce Differ From Traditional Divorce?

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#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou Brings Emotional Abuse Awareness to Social Media

Get help for domestic violence and intimate partner violence

In this digital age, stands are taken, victories are won (and lost) and causes are put in the spotlight through social networking vehicles such as Twitter and Facebook. On Monday, Twitter users began using the hashtag #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou to show that abusive relationships aren’t limited to physically violent ones. Domestic violence can come in many forms, including mental or emotional abuse.

The hashtag was inspired by a series of tweets last week by former domestic violence victim, Zahira Kelly, who wrote such passages as:  “maybe he doesnt hit u. he just comes home angry at the world& broke& starts putting u down for being a useless parasite whos why hes broke” and “MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he knew what to say to keep you going back to him after he emotionally devastated you.” Since then the hashtag has taken off with many offers sharing their experiences and tips for recognizing an abusive relationship.

What is Domestic Violence?

There remains a persistent misconception that domestic violence means hitting or pushing or shoving, when that is simply not the case. Many abusers use other forms of abuse such as threats, intimidation, belittling or even stalking to control their victims. In fact, domestic violence includes five categories of abuse — physical, sexual, economic, emotional and psychological. Unfortunately, many myths persist about abusive relationships. One of the myths mentioned is the belief that domestic violence is a rare occurrence when, in fact, women and children are more at risk of violence in their homes and relationships, by men they know, than in the street. Domestic violence never shows up in statistics as much as it occurs. (Catalano, Shannan. Intimate Partner Violence in the United States. U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics-2007)

Help for Emotional Abuse

Hopefully, times are changing and these myths are being eradicated, through modern avenues such as Twitter and Facebook. As Ms. Kelly stated, “Abuse is often seen as very cut and dry, and only physical. For several years now on social media, on a daily basis I’ve talked about many different forms of abuse and what they look like.” The thousands of tweets, using the hashtag, aim to raise awareness of the signs of non-physical abuse. Twitter users have been pointing to examples of abusive behavior, such as “#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he manipulates you and controls you.”

If you or someone you love is in an abusive relationship, it is time to get help. If your safety is in immediate jeopardy, call the police and leave the situation, now. If you can, file for a restraining order or file a police report. Contact your local domestic violence shelter for assistance with creating a plan of action for safe departure. No one should live with an abusive partner. It is not your fault.

For help, contact the New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline : 1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233) 24 hours a day/7 days a week. The New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline provides confidential access to domestic violence information and services, including crisis intervention, referral, and advocacy.  Bilingual and accessible to the deaf and hearing impaired.

To discuss your legal rights as a victim of domestic violence, including the option of seeking a restraining order or seeking temporary spousal support and/or child support to give you money to move out, our attorneys are here to safeguard your future. Please contact us to schedule your free consultation.

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Free Kindle Download: Legal Rights for Victims of Domestic Violence in New Jersey

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Want to Stop Paying Alimony Because Your Ex is Living with Someone? You Better Have Proof

Depositphotos_87970508_originalWhen does dating rise to the level of the legal ground for terminating or suspending alimony known as “cohabitation“? And what kind of evidence can prove that a spouse has entered into this deeper kind of relationship? A new court case takes a look. Continue reading

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What You May Not Know About Divorce In New Jersey

filing for divorce in new jersey

Thinking about divorce is an emotionally confusing time in anyone’s life. Now, you are contemplating filing for divorce and are facing weeding through the somewhat complex laws that govern divorce in the Garden State. There is a lot of misinformation out there, to be sure. Here are a few things you may not know about divorce in New Jersey: Continue reading

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Cohabitation and Alimony in New Jersey: The Quinn Case

cohabitation & alimony concernsSince New Jersey enacted the Alimony Reform Act in 2014, an ex-spouse no longer has to be living full-time in the same home with another person to be considered by the court to be “cohabiting” with that person. Prior to the Act, many divorced people would act as though they were married to their new partner, but would stop short of actually moving in with that person full time, in an attempt to keep their alimony. Now, a divorced spouse does not need to be living with a new boyfriend or girlfriend on permanent, full-time basis to have their alimony stopped. Continue reading

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Divorce PTSD And How To Treat It

Post Traumatic Stress DisorderMany people don’t realize that the financial and psychological stress of a bad divorce, especially if it’s ongoing, can cause PTSD. Continue reading

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What You May Not Know About Prenuptial Agreements In New Jersey

do you need a prenuptial agreement?Wedding bells will ring for many couples in New Jersey over the next few months, meaning that ’tis the season for spouses-to-be to start planning their future…including whether or not they need a prenuptial agreement! Continue reading

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Mediation, Collaborative Divorce or Litigation: What’s Right For Me?

mediation, litigation, or collaborative divorce?Much like how every marriage is different, every divorce in New Jersey is different too. You may have just come to terms with the fact that you are ready to file for divorce. Now what? Should you come to an agreement with your spouse? Are you anticipating a divorce trial? Are you and your soon-to-be ex on amicable terms or are you expecting a fight on each and every issue? Do you have very complex issues that need to be resolved?

Depending on your circumstances, there are several possible ways to resolve your differences and become divorced in New Jersey. Which path is right for you? Let’s take a look. Continue reading

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Weinberger Law Group Publishes New Guide To Alimony In New Jersey

alimony in new jersey Deciding alimony in your divorce and what to know how to get the fairest settlement possible? Weinberger Law Group is pleased to announced the publication of A Guide to Alimony in New Jersey, the newest title in our Family Law Jersey Style series of consumer-friendly law guides. Available on Amazon in both print book and Kindle ebook formats, A Guide to Alimony in New Jersey provides valuable tips and practical explanations to help you understand the alimony process, whether you are the spouse who will pay or the spouse who will receive support. Continue reading

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Recognizing The Signs of Intimate Partner Violence

Get help for domestic violence and intimate partner violenceAlthough we like to think we live in a more enlightened age, unfortunately, when it comes to intimate partner violence, also known as domestic violence, we, as a society, still have a long way to go. According to the Association of American Family Physicians, in the United States, approximately 1.5 million women and 834,700 men annually are raped and/or physically assaulted by an intimate partner. Women are more likely than men to be injured, sexually assaulted, or murdered by an intimate partner. Studies suggest that one in four women is at lifetime risk.

To remedy these tragic statistics, education is key, as is awareness of the many faces of intimate partner violence. Not all forms are intimate partner violence (IPV) are easy to recognize because IPV is not always physical violence; IPV can also be threats, intimidation or harassment, and more. Continue reading

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Military Parenting Time: Top Tips For Reconnecting With Your Kids After Deployment

military parenting timeAlmost two million children in the United States have military parents and experience the strain that frequent and/or lengthy deployments place on families. It may come as a surprise, but in many cases, the stress doesn’t end after the parent returns home. While media images capturing service members’ exuberant post-deployment embraces with children can create a “fairy tale” image of reintegration, in reality, once the excitement of reunion dissipates, all family members (parents and kids) often realize that they have changed in each other’s absence. These changes include: Continue reading

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Decision Time: Should You Go To Court Or Try Alternative Dispute Resolution?

What is alternative dispute resolution?It is becoming more and more commonplace for people going through a divorce to seek another avenue to resolution other than traditional litigation. In order to avoid sometimes needlessly drawn out court battles, couples are looking to Alternative Dispute Resolution or ADR to get them to the end of their divorce proceedings more efficiently. Is ADR right for your divorce? Continue reading

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What Is “Tri-Parenting”?

LGBT child custody concernsAfter the recent decision in the New Jersey custody case, D.G. vs. K.S., the new term “tri-parenting” has been getting a lot of buzz. What does tri-parenting entail? Let’s take a look. Continue reading

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My Spouse Gave Me An STD: Can I Sue?

Filing a marital tort claimA long time ago, spouses were not able to sue each other for torts, or certain “wrongs” done to one another because of a doctrine called “spousal immunity.” That doctrine has long since gone by the wayside, opening the door for divorcing spouses to sue each other for various types of civil “wrongs” called marital torts. Continue reading

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Child Abuse And Custody: Recognizing The Signs & Protecting Your Children

child abuse and neglectAccording to a 2013 report from The National Children’s Alliance, 679,000 children in the United States were victims of abuse and neglect. Unfortunately, one or more parents were responsible for almost 80% of reported child fatalities. Are your kids be at risk? As part of April’s Child Abuse & Neglect Awareness Month, here are signs to look for if you suspect your current or former spouse is abusing your children, and vital steps you can take to keep your kids safe. Continue reading

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Can You Request The Courts To Dismiss A Final Restraining Order?

restraining orderOnce a Domestic Violence Final Restraining Order (FRO) is entered against a person in New Jersey, it is difficult to have that FRO dismissed at a later time. New Jersey is one of the few states that actually has permanent FROs. In order to have an FRO dismissed, the court must agree that there is no continued need for the FRO. It certainly helps if the victim agrees with dismissing the restraining order. But, what if the victim does not agree to dismiss the FRO, even after more than nine years?

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Child Custody Questions? New Resource For New Jersey Parents Answers Your Concerns

Child custody 101: An Introduction to New Jersey Child CustodyCreating a parenting time plan for your children as part of your divorce or separation? Wondering which custody arrangement is best for your kids? Want to know what your rights are as a mother or father? To answer these questions and more, Weinberger Law Group is pleased to announce a new free resource for parents, Child Custody 101: A Introduction to New Jersey Child Custody Law. Continue reading

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5 Reasons To Avoid Divorce Litigation At All Costs

how to avoid divorce litigation

For some couples, litigating their matters in court before a judge is the best possible way to reach a resolution in their divorce. For other couples, litigation doesn’t solve conflict; it actually creates more of it. Many people mistakenly believe that they need the most aggressive lawyer in town to defend their legal rights. And when one spouse hires a shark attorney, chances are the other spouse will follow suit in order not to be “out-lawyered.” Yet even with two reasonable attorneys, divorce litigation is likely to inflame conflict, not resolve it. Read on to find out why the divorce litigation process should be avoided at all costs. Continue reading

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Divorce: Is Your Ex A High-Conflict Personality?

do you have a high conflict ex?While most people exhibit some irrational or unpleasant behavior during the pressure cooker of divorce, people with high-conflict personalities are experts at creating drama and chaos. They respond to the grief of a failed marriage by blaming you for the divorce and any problems the kids might have. Because they need a target, they will probably not “get over it” in time. Wondering if your ex might be a high-conflict personality or whether you are in a high conflict divorce?  Take this yes/no quiz to find out. Continue reading

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Advocating for Kids In Crisis: Weinberger Law Group Goes “Blue” For CASA Day

Fight Child Abuse and Go Blue for CASAIn support of the thousands of children placed in the state’s foster care system as a result of abuse and neglect, Weinberger Law Group announces its participation in Go Blue for CASA Day on April 8. The special day raises awareness and funds for Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) of New Jersey, a non-profit organization that supports and trains community volunteers to speak up for abused and neglected children in court. [Photos of today’s events can be found below! We will be updating throughout the day.]

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You Can’t Modify Alimony If You Never Received Alimony

questions about alimony?In a recent, unpublished Appellate Division case, Manger v. Manger, the court found that an ex-wife could not ask the court to change her alimony award, because she was never awarded alimony to begin with. Did you bypass spousal support in your original divorce settlement? Here’s what this case may mean for you.  Continue reading

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New Jersey Trial Court Says Coercion Can Be Domestic Violence

help for domestic violence victimsIn a strongly worded decision, the trial court in the recent case of J.L. v A.C. stated that a defendant may commit domestic violence through the act of coercion. The court, after entering a Final Restraining Order (FRO) against A.C., issued a supplemental order specifically addressing the act of coercion as domestic violence. Continue reading

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Supporting Child Abuse Victims: Weinberger Law Group Participates In “Go Blue For CASA” Day

Go Blue for CASA DayOn Friday, April 8, Weinberger Law Group is participating in “Go Blue for CASA” a fundraiser which will directly support advocacy for child abuse victims in the foster care system. In an effort to raise awareness for abused or neglected children during April’s National Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention Month, school districts, law firms and businesses throughout the state will recognize this day by wearing blue and donating to the organization Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA). Continue reading

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Adult Adoption: Why Grownups Are Picking Their New Parents

adoption in new jerseyCan adult children be adopted? In New Jersey, the answer is yes. As a new court ruling shows, not only is adoption ageless, but adult children in New Jersey have the ability to pursue adoption even when their biological parents object. Continue reading

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What If An Erin Andrews Case Happened in New Jersey?

Is your spouse spying on you?

In a recent article, Bari Z. Weinberger, Esq., managing partner at Weinberger Law Group and family law expert explored the possibility of the Erin Andrews stalking case happening in New Jersey. Continue reading

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Emotional Abuse In Divorce: How To Protect Yourself And Your Children

emotional abuse in divorceEmotional abuse can carry an added layer of damage because, unlike physical abuse, it leaves no discernible marks. Other people, and even the victim, don’t always recognize it’s happening. After years of being invalidated, disempowered, and made to feel worthless, abuse victims can begin to doubt their own reality, and ignore signs that they’re being mistreated. Continue reading

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Filing Tax Returns after Divorce, Part 3

divorce and taxesIn two recent posts we looked at some aspects of income tax filing for newly separated or divorced individuals, and specifically some of the tax implications of support payments, including child support and spousal support. Today we are going to look at some of the tax implications of dividing marital property in divorce. Understanding tax treatment of property transfers is not only important for filing taxes correctly, it can also help with decision-making. For example, you may want to reconsider buying out your spouse’s share of the family home if you think it will leave you with a high tax liability down the road. Continue reading

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Child Support in the US and Australia: What’s Different Down Under?

child support in the US vs AustraliaIn a recent article on theconversation.com, the child support system in Australia was examined. How is child support different “down under”? While the United States and Australia may be geographically distant, the complaints regarding the Aussie system ring familiar here in the US. Continue reading

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5 Ways to Make the Most Of Your Divorce Consultation

how to make the most of your divorce consultation You have scheduled your consultation with your divorce professional. How do you make the most of this limited time with your prospective attorney? Here are 5 ways in which you can ensure you get the most out of your consultation: Continue reading

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10 Surefire Ways To Have An Apocalyptic Divorce

are you caught in an apocalyptic divorce? Can you really get divorced without the conflict and drama? Yes! Here are the top 10 things NOT to do if you want to avoid an apocalyptic divorce. To help minimize tension don’t… Continue reading

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Domestic Violence: Proving The Need For A Final Restraining Order

Get help for domestic violenceThe New Jersey courts strive to take domestic violence seriously, and, in this pursuit, the courts evaluate every situation where domestic violence is alleged. In some cases, the courts find that even though a defendant may indeed have harassed another, there simply may not be a need for a final restraining order. What factors are taken into consideration when making this decision? A recent court case sheds some light Continue reading

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Weinberger Law Group Publishes Four New Divorce and Family Law Guides

We are excited to announce the publication of four new titles in its our Family Law Jersey Style series of consumer legal guides: A Guide to Relationship Agreements  in New Jersey, A Guide to Alimony in New Jersey, A Guide to Property Division in New Jersey, and A Guide to Alternative Dispute Resolution in New Jersey. Authored by our firm’s founder, family law expert Bari Z. Weinberger, each guide contains practical family law information that can be difficult for readers to find elsewhere. Continue reading

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Weinberger Law Group Named 10 Best Law Firm For Client Satisfaction

Best New Jersey Law Firm for Client SatisfactionOn behalf of our entire team, we are pleased to announce that Weinberger Law Group has been named one of the 10 Best Family Law Firms in New Jersey for Client Satisfaction by the American Institute of Family Law Attorneys. The annual list honors exceptional performance by New Jersey divorce and family law firms. This year marks the second consecutive year that that Weinberger Law Group team has received the honor. Continue reading

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Weinberger Law Group Publishes Legal Guides to Child Custody & Child Support in New Jersey

child custody in new jerseyConcerned about child custody and child support? We are pleased to announced the publication A Guide to Child Custody in New Jersey and A Guide to Child Support in New Jersey, two of the newest titles in our Family Law Jersey Style series of consumer legal guides. Authored by Bari Z. Weinberger, our firm’s founder, both guides are designed to provide answers to questions about these topics commonly asked by parents in New Jersey. Continue reading

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New Jersey Trial Court Says You Can Pay Child Support Directly To Your Children

paying child support for older childrenJudge Lawrence Jones, Superior Court judge in Ocean County, New Jersey recently ruled that a parent is permitted to pay his child support directly to his child, and not the child’s other parent. Could this happen in your child support arrangement?   Continue reading

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Bari Weinberger Offers Divorce Tips, Answers in New Divorce Mag FAQs

Attorney Bari Z. Weinberger

Have questions about divorce and family law? Weinberger Law Group founder, family law expert Bari Weinberger was recently asked by Divorce Magazine to lend her authority to answer readers’ commonly asked questions regarding divorce, child custody and other family law issues. You can find Bari’s answers as part of the magazine’s library of Expert FAQs. Continue reading

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Arrested for Not Paying Your Child Support: Are You At Risk?

enforcing unpaid child supportIn a recent NorthJersey.com article, it was reported that nearly 100 people in northern New Jersey were arrested for failure to pay their court-ordered child support. The arrests came the week of February 1, 2016 as part of a statewide sweep. In Bergen County, 67 people were arrested, and  over $37,000 of nearly $2.8 million of owed child support was collected. Is being arrested for unpaid support payments common?  Continue reading

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Filing Tax Returns after Divorce, Part 2

child support, alimony and taxesIn a recent post we looked at some aspects of income tax filing for newly separated or divorced individuals, including filing status and treatment of dependent exemptions. Today, we will look at some of the tax implications of child support or spousal support payments. This information may be helpful not only to those currently working on 2015 tax returns, but also to those in the process of negotiating marital settlement agreements that include support provisions. Divorcing spouses sometimes overlook tax implications that can have a significant impact on each spouse’s post-divorce financial condition.   Continue reading

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Weinberger Law Group Attorneys Named Super Lawyers & Rising Stars in 2016

Super Lawyers 2016
Weinberger Law Group is delighted to announce that six of our attorneys have been named 2016 New Jersey Super Lawyers or 2016 New Jersey Rising Stars, by New Jersey Monthly Magazine.  Continue reading

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Recognizing The Signs Of Spousal Abuse In Men …And What To Do Next

help for male victims of domestic violenceMen, like women, can be victims of intimate partner abuse, but they often keep silent about domestic violence out of shame. They’re afraid no one will believe them, or they’ll be ridiculed: how could a man be so “weak” that he lets a woman beat him up? Sometimes they don’t recognize that abuse doesn’t always involve kicks and punches. Name-calling, putdowns, mind-games, and manipulation are trademarks of psychological abuse, which can be more insidious than physical abuse because it doesn’t leave marks. Continue reading

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Recognizing The Signs Of Spousal Abuse In Women…And What To Do

Get help for domestic violenceAppearances can be deceiving when it comes to domestic violence. Our unconscious ideas about what abuse “looks like” – it “always” leaves marks –or the “type” of woman who’s married to an abuser – someone with glaringly low self-esteem and limited options — can lead us to miss some of the less obvious signs that our friend, daughter, or sister is in an abusive relationship, and needs help.

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Divorced Parents: Can You Withhold Tuition Payments If You Don’t Like Your Child’s College Choice?

college education and divorceHow much sway do divorced parents ordered to share in the cost of their child’s college tuition have over the school the child chooses to attend? A recent court case takes a look.  Continue reading

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Filing Tax Returns After Separation or Divorce, Part 1

filing taxes after divorce

If you are newly separated or divorced, filing a federal tax return can present a host of new and confusing options and scenarios. In honor of the approaching April 15th tax filing deadline, this month we will be sharing some of this valuable information with you in a three-part series discussing tax issues and divorce. Continue reading

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Kids And Divorce: Are You A Psychological Parent?

Are you a psychological parent?There is an interesting theory in New Jersey family law—that of the psychological parent. In today’s world, there are all different types of families. The “blended” family is becoming more and more common since the days of The Brady Bunch. Many moms and dads remarry, creating stepparents and stepchildren; half siblings and stepsiblings. Same-sex couples have children, where one of the couple is the biological parent and the other is not.

When a third person, not the biological mom and dad, takes an active role in the life of a child, he or she can become what is known as a “psychological parent.” Does this describe you? Continue reading

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Kids, Divorce, And Manipulation: Three Strategies To Overcome Parental Alienation

what is parental alienation?One of the most painful byproducts of a hellish divorce is watching your ex manipulate your children into believing that you’re a bad parent. Parent-child relationships that were strong before the divorce can be damaged almost overnight when an alienating parent lures a child into the Cult of the Bad Mom/Dad. Brainwashing tactics include bad-mouthing, lies, manipulation of events, and a constant barrage of negatives about the other parent, similar to a political smear campaign.

Treating parental alienation in therapy is challenging. It’s unlikely that the alienator will agree to go to therapy or that you will be able to agree on a therapist. Judges can mandate family therapy or parenting classes, but they can’t make an alienator listen to what the therapist has to say.

You don’t have to rely on a judge or mental health professional to intervene. There are steps you can take to give your child a more balanced picture of you and your relationship. You can also give them tools to learn to think for themselves so they can begin to understand the flaws in the alienator’s belief system. Continue reading

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Kids, Divorce, And Manipulation: Parents Who Use Kids As Weapons

high conflict divorce and kidsIn divorce, narcissistic parents often buffer the pain of a failed marriage by trying to destroy their ex’s relationship with the children. Unlike healthy parents, who aim to work themselves out of a job by preparing children to live independently, a narcissist sees their kids as extensions of themselves. They cannot tolerate the thought that their children might grow up to chart their own course. Continue reading

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