Can Co-Parenting After Divorce Really Work?

co-parenting after divorce

Last week, Big Bang actress Mayim Bialik released a YouTube video simply titled “Divorce.” In the video, the mother of two young boys “addresses what life is really like in a post-divorce world,” and how she manages co-parenting with her ex-husband Michael Stone.

So, what does Bialik, who is also a neuroscientist, recommend for successful co-parenting after divorce? She lays her plan out in three steps: Continue reading

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Supporting Your Transgendered Child: What Happens When Divorced Parents Disagree?

supporting your transgender child
Parents play a very important role in a gender-expansive and transgendered child’s life. As research shows, supportive parenting can significantly affect the transgendered child’s ability to have a positive outlook on their lives, their mental health and their self-esteem. On the other hand, research also shows that unsupportive parenting is correlated to gender-expansive and transgendered youth being more depressed and suicidal. As child psychologists who specialize in gender issues agree, the most crucial thing parents can do is allow children to be exactly who they are.

But what happens if you are a separated or divorced parent and your ex disagrees with you regarding how to parent, guide and support your transgendered child? Continue reading

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Chris Rock Divorce: Psychological Parent Theory in New Jersey

Divorce and child custodyDoes Chris Rock owe child support for a child from South Africa he and his now ex-wife welcomed into their family while they were married, but never adopted? Continue reading

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Are Celebrity Divorces in New Jersey Different?

celebrity divorceWhen we were able to read Chris Rock’s divorce complaint that was filed in New Jersey in December of 2014, there didn’t seem to be novel or groundbreaking issues raised or allegations made. There was standard language regarding the couples’ prenuptial agreement and requests for child custody. While Chris’ allegations that his wife did not let him spend time with the children may seem scandalous in tabloids, this accusation of one parent against the other is made rather routinely in contested divorces that involve children.

What is unique about celebrity divorces in New Jersey is what is unique about all high net worth divorces in the Garden State: the sheer sums of money and the unique forms that assets take, that are at stake in these battles. Of course, press coverage about the couple is prevalent; coverage that 99% of all other divorced couples in New Jersey (even the rich ones) will not face. Continue reading

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5 Unexpectedly Wonderful Things About Life After Divorce

silver linings of divorceDivorce. It is emotionally wrenching. It is physically exhausting. And, it can be financially draining. But, divorce, for all the bad it can be, can leave you a happier, healthier and all-around better person. While it may not seem so during your divorce, when the dust settles and the smoke clears, you just may find yourself in an even better place than where you were before the divorce began. Here are some ways that you find yourself better after your case is over:

Finances: Yes, you may have spent a pretty penny on your divorce proceedings, including on your divorce attorney. But, having to go through a divorce forces you to become a better budget maker and more accountable to yourself for the money you spend, especially if you were financially dependent on your ex. Now, you must learn to build your own credit, plan for expenditures and prepare for your own retirement. It is never a bad thing to become more financially savvy and fiscally responsible.

Confidence: You have been through a terrible time in your life and you have weathered the storm. You looked to yourself to find the strength to make it through, which can be especially difficult for spouses who relied emotionally on their partner for validation. Now, as you move forward with this next chapter, you move confidently, knowing that no matter what life throws at you, you can handle it on your own.

Reconnecting: Perhaps you were isolated socially during your marriage. Your old relationships with friends and family suffered and important connections that you had and relied upon were lost or strained. Now that you have moved on from your marriage, you have the time and space to reconnect with the important people in your life. You are able to dictate your own schedule and make your own plans to spend time with loved ones. You are also now able to explore new places, make new friends and forge new relationships when the time is right.

Creating New Roles: You now have the ability to create new roles in life for yourself. Of course, this is difficult for the spouse that saw their only role in life as “spouse.” It is important for you to find new niches in life and interests that drive your enthusiasm. Perhaps you always wanted to learn photography. Or, maybe you want to go back to school to complete your Master’s Degree. Looking at this time as a period of self-exploration is one way to overcome feelings of isolation and fear. Whatever it is that feeds your curiosity and fulfills you, you should explore. You never know what your new roles in life will be. Exploring untapped interests can be both a place to positively let go of the grief brought on by divorce and a way to redefine yourself.

Better Parenting: If you have kids, being divorce may just be an opportunity to become and even better parent. If you were living in a tense, hostile or unhappy home with your spouse and the children, not only did your children perceive the unhappiness, but your behavior was undoubtedly affected by the constant negativity in which you were residing. When you have a strong child custody and parenting time plan in effect, you can find yourself much less tense or agitated and you will avoid letting these negative emotions bleed through into your relationships with your kids. They will also be all that much happier to have a more centered and focused you.

According to recent Huffington Post blog on the topic, “It’s hard to get out of bed some days after divorce, let alone map out a future spent on your own. But at some point in the process, you start to realize that you’re so much more than your relationship status and that life goes on — and gets better — after divorce.”

If you are thinking about filing for divorce and want further advice or if you are in the midst of a divorce and want to learn your rights and responsibilities, please contact us to set up your free consultation with one of our compassionate and knowledgeable family law attorneys.

silver linings divorce

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Ways to Achieve a Lower Cost Divorce: Mediation and Other Alternative Dispute Resolutions

If couples wish, they can certainly spend thousands and thousands of dollars on a long, drawn-out and exhausting divorce. But, why would anyone want to do this? Continue reading

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Follow Custody Rules On Moving Out of State With Your Child Or Face The Consequences

breaking through custody battlesOur world is constantly changing, and as a result, people live much different lives today than they did even twenty or thirty years ago. More and more parents are relocating out of state for many reasons: family, employment, and schooling. But, what if you have custody of your children? Does that give you free reign to move out of New Jersey with the kids? Contrary to popular belief, having custody of your child, even sole custody, does not automatically guarantee you the ability to move to a new state. There are certain laws that you must follow to ensure that you are not subjecting yourself to a possible parental kidnapping charge here in New Jersey. Continue reading

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Divorced Co-Parenting: When Your Kids Meet Your Ex’s New Partner

child meeting parent's new boyfriendMany divorced co-parents come to their family law attorneys with the same concern: “My ex is allowing his/her new partner to be around our children. Can I restrict my child’s exposure to the new boyfriend or girlfriend? Do I have any legal recourse to stop this?” Continue reading

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Want to Burn Your Assets on the Altar of Ego? Have a Litigated Divorce!

contested divorceAh, the contested divorce. Everyone involved is angry, hurt, feeling betrayed and watching their wallets get smaller and smaller as their cases drag on longer and longer. Every word spoken is misinterpreted and used as fuel for yet another fire. Heaven forbid there are children involved, who, like the little sponges they are, will absorb all of this negativity swirling constantly around them. Continue reading

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Safeguarding Your Privacy in Divorce: Keeping it Offline

keep your divorce private
We have all seen gory details of peoples’ relationships plastered all over social media. We have witnessed arguments and name-calling on Facebook. Someone always knows someone whose divorce was made even more painful by later-regretted posts, pictures or even hijacked social media accounts. As tempting as it might be in the moment, it is never a good idea to hash out your personal problems or advertise the specifics of your divorce case in public.

So, how do you avoid publicizing your personal struggles with your spouse online? Continue reading

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