When filing for divorce in New Jersey, certain documents must be filed. First, a “complaint for divorce” is filed, which gives basic information about the marriage, including where it was held, if there are any children to be considered, and the grounds for divorce. Along with the complaint for divorce, a “confidential litigation information sheet” must also be filed. This sheet contains detailed information about each spouse, including their social security number, overall health, place and date of birth, and the names and ages of all the children. Each spouse, after submitting all necessary information and documents must sign a “CDR” certification, which just notes for the court that each party has been made aware of the lower-cost, alternative dispute resolution.

Response documents are also among the first filed by the defendant. An “appearance” is filed once the defendant receives the complaint, an “answer,” either confirms or denies the grounds for divorce, and the optional “counterclaim,” allows the defendant to file based on other grounds not originally mentioned by the plaintiff (this isn’t always necessary, but your attorney will be able to answer any questions you may have about the process).

All documents filed will become a matter of public record after the divorce process begins…many parents keep this in mind when describing how they feel about their spouse, and the reasons for the divorce. Children will be able to access the information years from now.

As with other steps in the divorce process, how the marital assets will be divided cannot be decided until all financial information is gathered and all questions answered. Information about income (current and potential), tax returns, current values of the property, needs of the care-giving parent to maintain the primary marital home, etc, must all be shared with the courts.

Equitable distribution also involves discussing the financial contributions of each spouse throughout the course of their marriage. How much each spouse contributed to the other’s education, or even what career sacrifices—which led to earning sacrifices—were made by one spouse for the other, or at least as a result of the other spouse’s career/education (for example, if one spouse stayed home with the children, thereby not pursuing career advancement, so the other spouse could attend school or work more hours)… all are taken into account.

When two people divorce, it is not just two people ending their marriage, especially if children are involved. Changing a family dynamic is tricky and emotionally trying; it’s just complicated. Bottom line. Many decisions have to be made when one of the providing members of the family is moving out of the home, and thereby shifting financial responsibilities. Questions like: how are the bills going to get paid, who is going to do the holiday shopping, and of course, one of the hardest and most stressful —who is going to pay for college—have to be answered, in order to avoid a painful or complicated situation for the child/family later on.

The law takes certain things into account when it comes time to make legal decisions about the families’ finances and about which responsibilities will be assigned to which parents. Who pays for college, or how much each parent will be expected to contribute to the child’s education, is decided by a number of factors, including: what each parent is actually capable of contributing financially, if the child will be working during college and contributing to their own expenses, whether financial aid will be an option, and whether a college education is something that is even feasible for the child, or something they are interested in.

Having a fractured relationship with your children is not usually considered by a judge when financial decisions are being made. Making sure a child is cared for should not depend on how you, the parent, is feeling about the situation. The child, their needs, and their goals are what matter most.

Divorce and Custody Battle

Divorce is hard on everyone, especially if children are involved. Custody battles make it difficult for children to deal with the divorce of their parents in a healthy way; they see their parents angry, fighting, they are being asked hard questions, and in uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and unfriendly courtroom environments. Custody battles can get messy and involve child therapists, lengthy meetings and discussions in chambers with judges, and possible leaving the child to feel responsible for legal outcomes and decisions. Parents care deeply about their child’s feelings and emotional health; divorce takes its toll, taking over and making you unable to think past your own pain and emotional strain. It doesn’t mean someone is a bad person; its means they’re human.

“Kids Count” is a program designed to give children going through a divorce and possible custody battle, an outlet for their unfamiliar and difficult feelings, other children going through something similar to talk to, and parents the opportunity to see how their marital issues are actually affecting their children.

The program puts children in contact with trained professionals that can help them with emotional strains, and help the parents look beyond the issues they have with one another, in order to decide what is truly best for the child.

Paying for College

When two people divorce, it is not just two people ending their marriage, especially if children are involved. Changing a family dynamic is tricky and emotionally trying; it’s just complicated. Bottom line. Many decisions have to be made when one of the providing members of the family is moving out of the home, and thereby shifting financial responsibilities. Questions like: how are the bills going to get paid, who is going to do the holiday shopping, and of course, one of the hardest and most stressful —who is going to pay for college—have to be answered, in order to avoid a painful or complicated situation for the child/family later on.

The law takes certain things into account when it comes time to make legal decisions about the families’ finances and about which responsibilities will be assigned to which parents. Who pays for college, or how much each parent will be expected to contribute to the child’s education, is decided by a number of factors, including: what each parent is actually capable of contributing financially, if the child will be working during college and contributing to their own expenses, whether financial aid will be an option, and whether a college education is something that is even feasible for the child, or something they are interested in.

Having a fractured relationship with your children is not usually considered by a judge when financial decisions are being made. Making sure a child is cared for should not depend on how you, the parent, is feeling about the situation. The child, their needs, and their goals are what matter most.

Early Settlement Panel

After the discovery period is completed, you have the opportunity to go before the “early settlement panel.” This panel is made up of three extremely experienced marital attorneys who will hear both parties’ positions and advise each spouse’s attorney based on, in their opinion, what they think a judge’s ruling will be on the case.

Before appearing before the panel, you and your spouse exchange settlement proposals which give both parties and their attorneys an idea of their spouse’s suggestions on how to resolve issues surrounding child custody, dividing of the assets, etc. There should be no surprises at the early settlement panel hearing; both attorneys present their client’s settlement proposals and then the panel gives their opinion as to how to resolve the case—which is non-binding and confidential..

If you and your spouse can come to an agreement at the early settlement panel you can be divorced that very day, saving time, money, and more emotional strain. If you decide not take the panel’s advice and settle that day, while the process could go on for several more months, you will at least have a better idea of where you and your spouse stand on the important issues, and how much more negotiating you will have to undergo. Communication is always a good thing.

Divorce is hard on everyone involved, including the children. Deciding on child support can be an arduous task, but a necessary one.

There are many factors examined when deciding what appropriate child support payments should be, including: income and assets of both parents, the current economic status and standards of living of each parents, the needs of the child, possible future needs of the child (like braces or higher education), earning ability of the child, age and health of both parents and any children in the household, etc.

The needs of your child are paramount and should come first. The court tries to be thorough when deciding the amount to be paid by either parent to the care-giving parent; no one wants to see a child who is not being provided for.