10 Back to School Tips for Divorced or Separated Parents

The kids are back in school. Lots of things are in transition as we start the new school year. As parents, we have school obligations to help our children stay safe, feel secure and be happy. In the case where parents are divorced or separated, there can be a lot in question.
Who signs the permission slips?
What about parent conferences?
And what happens in case of emergency?
No matter what your child custody arrangements might be, and whether your divorce was years ago or the split just took place over the summer, we know there’s no “easy A” when it comes to co-parenting during the school year. But we do think it can be much less stressful!

How? Here are ten top, tried-and-true tips for making this school year a successful one for your child in the case of divorce or separation of parents and, believe it or not, maybe just maybe a good one for you and your former-spouse, too.

Tip 1: Pre-School Pow Wow

Once you have the coming year’s school calendar (typically available on a school district’s website starting in early summer), schedule a meeting with your former-spouse at some neutral locale and make sure you each BRING A CALENDAR. Map out the school year schedule from September to June, making visitation plans and custody arrangements for school breaks, long weekends, and/or early release days, keeping in mind your child custody agreement. Things may change as the year progresses, but having a basic plan in place is a good starting point.

Tip 2: Keep School Contact Forms Current & Complete

When that huge stack of forms comes home with your child on the first day of school, make sure contact information is filled in for both you and your ex-spouse, including cell phone, work numbers, physical address and email addresses. Again, it might be easy to meet in some neutral place to fill out the forms together, but however you obtain this information, make a photocopy before returning forms to school to make sure you have these numbers too! If things aren’t so amicable with your ex and he/she filled in the forms separately, call the school to request a copy for your own records.

Tip 3: No Panic Pick Ups

While filling in forms, make the following items very clearly understood: the child’s primary physical residence, who is responsible for picking the child up from school on a daily basis, which adults are allowed to pick up children from school, and which parent to call first in case of emergency. Often, there is a box to check off or fill in with this information for divorced or separated parents. Make sure your former-spouse understands and agrees to the responsibility of picking up the child in case of sickness–or if an emergency on your part prevents normal pick up.

On the other hand, there may be custody issues, such as a parent not being allowed visitation with a child, which should be noted. If so, school forms usually provide a space to write in who is NOT allowed to pick up a child, so don’t overlook naming names, even if the person is no longer part of your lives. In the event a parent without child visitation rights shows up at the school, this documentation can be very important.

Tip 4: Keep Child Custody Swaps Away from School

Even if your child’s visitation with her other parent begins on Friday afternoons, avoid making school the spot where the two of you meet. Because seeing your spouse may be filled with tension or outright anger, and mixed emotions from your child, save yourselves the embarrassment and further stress of putting these issues on display for your child’s school. If your former-spouse lives in the same town, it might be possible for your child to ride the school bus to a stop closer to the other parent’s house (provided the other parent is there to see the child home from the bus). If not, pick a neutral spot like the mall or library.

Tip 5: Participate in School Conferences Together

Back-to-school nights, sporting events, concerts, and parent-teacher conferences are important parts of the school year and you should both make every effort to be there. If there’s still animosity with your ex, make sure the school is aware of lingering family difficulties long before it’s conference time or family fun night. A simple meeting or call to the guidance counselor to explain your family’s situation is all that is needed. The school, in turn, may have a guidance counselor present or on-call during parent conferences or have their own suggestions for how to make the situation work for all parities involved, especially your child.

Tip 7: Non-Involved Parents

If a parent has moved away or is no longer involved in a child’s life, make sure to let your child’s new teachers know this. This avoids embarrassment both for your child and the school when it comes to a “Dad’s Day” type of event and your child has no one to attend. Trust us, your son or daughter won’t be alone in this. If possible, line up a grandpa or uncle to step in at moments like this.

Tip 8: Don’t Make Your Child a Messenger

“Mom says we have an early release day next week so you need to pick me up.” “Our class field trip is an overnight one so I won’t be here next Friday.” It seems easy enough to task your child with letting your ex-spouse know about upcoming schedule changes, but this information really needs to be coming from you. Want to talk to your ex as little as possible? That’s what email is for! Email also creates a written record, so your ex can’t later claim, “but I didn’t know.”

Tip 9: Everybody Helps With Homework

If you are not the custodial parent, still make the effort to help your child with homework. Though this is rarely written into any child custody agreement, the burden of keeping up with homework assignments and longterm projects typically falls on the shoulders of the parent who has custody or who is taking care of the child at the time the work is due. Want to really help your child feel consistency and stability, even as they shift between two homes? Ask them to pull out their assignment notebook and see what you can help with–this works especially well with big projects that can be worked on over the weekend. Have weeknight visitation rights? Instead of going out to dinner, why not go to the library instead?

Tip 10: When There’s a New Spouse in Town

If you or your former-spouse remarry, unless a legal adoption takes place, the new spouse should not be listed on your child’s record as a parent, no matter how close the relationship. It’s fine to let the school know that your spouse is allowed to pick up your child and can be contacted in case of emergency (though in most circumstances, the other parent should always be the primary emergency contact). If your current spouse is highly involved with your child’s life, it is completely appropriate to attend school events together. To avoid any fireworks, and any embarrassment on the part of your child, extend your former-spouse the courtesy of letting him or her know about your plans.

— Jacqueline Tourville, writes about parenting and educations issues for various web and print publications. She holds a Masters of Education from the State University of New York.

Divorce 101 – Live & In-Person Q&A – Paramus, Bergen County, NJ

DIVORCE 101

FACTS AND MYTHS OF DIVORCE DISCUSSION EVENT
Location: The Paramus Corporate Center – Bergen County – New Jersey

Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group would like to invite you to join us for a local panel discussion.  Learn the basics of divorce and how to begin.

Featured Guest Speaker:
Erin Schneiderman - Associate at Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group
Erin Brueche, Esq.
Associate with Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group, L.L.C.

Gain valuable information regarding many important and misunderstood facts surrounding divorce.
This event will answer critical questions such as:

  • How do I protect my children?
  • How long will my divorce take?
  • Can I refinance my mortgage?
  • Can I sell my home in this economy?
  • How can I protect my money?

Have your questions answered by a team of professionals including a divorce attorney, financial advisor, real estate agent, mortgage specialist and insurance professional.

When: Thursday, October 6, 2011
Where: Wells Fargo Bank
The Paramus Corporate Center
95 Route 17 South 2nd Floor
Paramus, NJ 07652
Time: 7:00pm – 8:30pm

*Seating is limited  – Kindly RSVP by Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Call Jeanette at Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group (973) 520-8822

What’s Reasonable for Child Support in Celebrity or High Net Worth Divorce Cases?

What if Linda Evangelista lived in Montclair, New Jersey and not Manhattan? Calculating child support when high net worth parents’ ability to pay is not an issue is the case in celebrity divorce news.

When Evangelista was at the height of supermodel stardom, her face was everywhere. But now Linda Evangelista is back in the spotlight for a very different reason after last month, filing a child support application in Manhattan Family Court seeking $46,000 a month from Francois-Henri Pinault, current husband of Salma Hayek and, as we learned from court papers, the father of Evangelista’s 4-year-old son, Augusten James. In what could turn out to be the largest support request in Family Court history, the New York Post reports the majority of the $46,000 a month in child support would go to cover a 24-hour nanny and personal drivers for the child.

Is this reasonable? According to a Bloomberg Businessweek publication, Francois Henri-Pinault’s total compensation as CEO of PPR (a luxury brand corporation) was roughly $5.2 million in 2010, not counting stock dividends or returns on other investments, with his net worth estimated at approximately $11 million. Evangelista’s exact annual earnings are uncertain, but she is reported to be worth at least $8 million.

Evangelista is far from poverty, or even simply being middle class, but according to a Huffington Post analysis, the law may favor the former supermodel in this case. In New York, child support rules state that in high income cases where parental income exceeds $130,000, an award of child support should be based on the child’s actual needs and the amount required for the child to live an appropriate lifestyle.

Who is setting precedence for these kinds of high net worth conditions in divorce and child support cases? It’s another famous celebrity name with its own twist: Sean “Diddy” Combs. In Brim v. Combs, the NY Appellate Division held that the Family Court made a mistake in basing a child support award on the amount of support Combs was paying for another child from a different woman, and not on evidence of the child in question’s expenses, resources and needs. The court used the custodial parent’s testimony to provide evidence of the child’s actual needs — meaning that, in Evangelista’s case, her request for a 24/7 nanny, in light of her unconventional career, may be viewed as reasonable by a court. And while the request for personal drivers may appear excessive and frivolous to most, a judge may think they are necessary for maintaining Augusten’s lifestyle — and that his father should foot the bill, or at least contribute.

What if instead of Manhattan, Linda lived in Montclair, New Jersey? Under current New Jersey guidelines for child support requests, in situations where parents have a high net worth, she might still be able to get the nanny and drivers. In 2007, a child support claim involved another celebrity — former Giants’ defensive-end, Michael Strahan. His ex-wife’s appeal of the initial divorce judgment helped to clarify how child support is calculated in high net worth cases in New Jersey. According to an Appellate Division decision of the New Jersey Superior Court ruling in the Strahan v. Strahan case, where high-income parents whose ability to pay is not an issue, “the dominant guideline for consideration is the reasonable needs of the children, which must be addressed in the context of the standard of living of the parties. The needs of the children must be the centerpiece of any relevant analysis.”

Bottom line: even in New Jersey, it’s possible Linda could make a case for round-the-clock care for her son and someone to cart him around… but just make sure it’s not in a horse-drawn cart! While child support guidelines are more subjective in high net worth cases, the Strahan ruling also referenced New Jersey’s longstanding “Three Pony Rule”, a guideline that states “no child, no matter how wealthy the parents, needs to be provided with more than three ponies.”

But the question remains: how much will Pinault need to “pony up” for his son’s child support?

Sources:

Rutgers University, New Jersey – Law Library:
http://lawlibrary.rutgers.edu/courts/appellate/a3747-06.opn.html

New York Post:
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/linda_demands_monthly_from_ex_8lWhicZ0088EQTIU1kouNI

Bloomberg Businessweek:
http://investing.businessweek.com/businessweek/research/stocks/people/person.asp?personId=1061221&ticker=PP:FP&previousCapId=666672&previousTitle=PPR%20SA

Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/evangeline-gomez/linda-evangelistas-stunni_b_922825.html

New York State Law Reporting Bureau:
http://www.courts.state.ny.us/reporter/3dseries/2005/2005_02660.htm

 

IRS Amends Tax Law to Help ‘Innocent Spouse’ Relief

Good news for those seeking “innocent spouse” tax relief from the IRS. Effective July 25, 2011, the agency will no longer enforce a rule that required taxpayers to file for innocent spouse status within a two-year time limit — a controversial provision that some lawmakers and tax experts said unfairly denied certain people who may have otherwise qualified, including victims of domestic violence or abuse. The policy change to the current tax law not only applies to those who file future claims but also to some taxpayers whose claims were rejected in the past.

IRS has required taxpayers to file for relief within two years after a collection notice. The deadline has prevented taxpayers who were in-the-dark about their spouse’s tax debts from seeking relief, the IRS taxpayer advocate and legal aid attorneys said.

“This change is a dramatic step to improve our process to make it fairer for an important group of taxpayers,” IRS Commissioner Doug Shulman said in an agency news release. “We know these are difficult situations for people to face, and today’s change will help innocent spouses victimized in the past, present and the future.”

An “innocent spouse” is a taxpayer who did not know and did not have reason to know that his or her spouse understated or underpaid their income tax liability. If a taxpayer meets certain qualifications as an innocent spouse, the IRS may suspend all tax liability or only hold the innocent spouse responsible for their share of the tax bill. The new change affects taxpayers applying for equitable relief, a category open to taxpayers who don’t meet strict requirements of other provisions in the innocent spouse law.

Why more time? As Washington Post columnist Michelle Singletary asked in her recent piece on the rule changes, what if a spouse was being abused or bullied and, although she may have known about the collection effort, was too afraid of her abuser to take action under after a separation or divorce? Under the former IRS provisions, it didn’t matter. She had to file within two years or was out of luck.

Singletary points out that dozens of members of Congress had been pushing for a policy revision on innocent spouse relief, likely a motivating force behind the agency’s sudden change of heart. Earlier this year, Nina Olson, U.S. National Taxpayer Advocate, had named elimination of the two-year rule one of her top legislative recommendations to Congress.

So what you should expect? Key changes for taxpayers include:

  • The IRS will no longer apply the two-year limit to new equitable relief requests or requests currently being considered by the agency.
  • A taxpayer whose equitable relief request was previously denied solely due to the two-year limit may reapply using IRS Form 8857: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f8857.pdf, Request for Innocent Spouse Relief, if the collection statute of limitations for the tax years involved has not expired.
  • The IRS will not apply the two-year limit in any pending litigation involving equitable relief, and where litigation is final, the agency will suspend collection action under certain circumstances.

According to a report in the Wall Street Journal, the IRS receives about 50,000 requests for innocent spouse relief per year, although the number of actual taxpayers is smaller because a taxpayer often requests relief for more than one year. The majority of appeals are filed by women.

Details on innocent spouse relief can be found in IRS Notice 2011-70: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-drop/n-11-70.pdf

Sources:
Internal Revenue Service info:
IRS
Washington Post article:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/irs-does-the-right-thing-for-the-innocent-spouse/2011/07/27/gIQAvn3VdI_story.html
Wall Street Journal report:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111904772304576468413081448544.html

The Role of Prenups in a New Jersey Divorce

Many people have heard stories about prenuptial agreements not always holding up in court. The reality is that courts will try to uphold private contracts in a New Jersey divorce, provided they were entered into with full knowledge and no coercion.

Historically, judges were suspicious of prenups because they were often used by the more powerful spouse to force the other spouse to agree to unfair terms. But today, prenups are used more routinely and looked at more favorably – when properly entered into.

To be enforced, a prenuptial agreement must be in writing, signed by both parties, and include a full disclosure of all assets and liabilities of both parties. In addition, each party is required to retain their own lawyer to separately represent their individual interests.

During a divorce, the burden is on the spouse challenging the validity of the prenup to show there was coercion in the creation of the agreement. Whether or not there was coercion, a party can challenge portions of the prenup as unconscionable.

Generally, the prenup is looked at as a regular private contract entered into voluntarily by two adults. There are areas that cannot be agreed to via a prenup. For example, parents cannot make agreements about custody of the children or parenting time via a prenuptial agreement.

Prenups are most commonly used to protect assets acquired before the marriage, and to set forth how certain properties obtained during the marriage would be distributed. They many times also address the issue of alimony.

If you are considering a prenup, or wondering if yours will hold up in a divorce, consult with attorneys experienced in handling New Jersey divorce issues. Used for the right purposes, prenups can often reduce time and costs of litigation in the event of divorce.

Divorce Lawyer – NJ Process for High Asset Divorce

New Jersey divorce law provides that all marital property shall be distributed equitably. But before a fair distribution can be agreed to, first the marital property and the separate property needs to be determined and then the property must be valued. Someone with many assets and/or complex financial holdings should consult an experienced divorce lawyer. NJ statutes, case law and prenuptial agreements will need to be reviewed to make sure your rights are fully protected.

There are several areas where an experienced attorney can guide you through the process. These include:

(1)               If you or your spouse own a business – Businesses can be complex to appraise accurately, as there are numerous accounting procedures that can be difficult to wade through. Specialized experts called forensic accountants and actuarial experts can be utilized to provide a valuation on the business. Sometimes each party will each get their own appraisal with the two values to be used to ultimately agree on a fair value.

(2)               Retirement Assets (401ks, IRAs, pensions) – In general, a QDRO will be performed to value that portion of retirement assets that were accumulated during the marriage (from the date of marriage to the date of the divorce filing).

(3)               Real estate holdings – In addition to the primary residence, there may be vacation homes, commercial property or investment property. First, it must be determined if any portion of the property can be considered separate from marital property. Then the property must be valued, and a decision made about whether to keep it or sell it.

(4)               Bonuses and Stock Options – There are accounting methods to help determine which portion of this type of compensation will be considered marital property subject to distribution.

It will take some time to properly value all of the holdings for high net worth couples. It’s important that you seek the advice of lawyers who specialize in New Jersey divorce law. They can make you aware of options for valuing and selling property to help ensure an equitable distribution.

3 Tips Regarding an NJ Uncontested Divorce

When it comes to getting an uncontested divorce, many people believe that it is as simple as someone filing, waiting a short period of time, receiving your divorce decree, and then it is all over. While an New Jersey uncontested divorce is usually easier to obtain than a contested one, it does not mean that it is necessarily a walk in the park.
Here are three important tips that those seeking an uncontested divorce in New Jersey should keep in mind, including:

  • Be patient. A divorce that is uncontested usually means that it will not take you as long to reach a final resolution. But that doesn’t mean it is going to happen overnight. There is still a legal process that needs to be followed and worked through.
  • You must still identify grounds for divorce. Contrary to popular belief, you still need to have “grounds” for an uncontested divorce. Even with both parties agreeing to dissolve the relationship, you will need to qualify for one of the legal grounds for getting a divorce, which, for uncontested matters, generally includes irreconcilable differences or 18 months of physical separation.
  • Disputed issues may exist. Even with both parties agreeing to an uncontested divorce, there are still legal issues that will need to be sorted out. Just about every couple has to decide the following issues: alimony, child custody, visitation, child support, and division of assets. .

If you decide to pursue an NJ uncontested divorce , you should work with a highly qualified family law attorney. By doing so, you are ensuring your case will be handled in a professional and expedient manner. At Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group, LLC, our practice is dedicated to providing New Jersey legal support for divorce cases.

Division of Assets in New Jersey Divorce Law

New Jersey divorce law follows a theory of equitable distribution when dividing up marital assets. It’s important to understand that equitable does not necessarily mean equal, as in 50-50. Once all assets are valued, the court will strive for a “fair, but not necessarily equal, division” of marital property.

The law views marriage as a shared enterprise, and deems property acquired by either spouse during the marriage to be jointly owned.  Generally, property owned prior to the marriage, and third party gifts and inheritance received during the marriage, are exempt from marital property (unless the property has been since transferred into joint ownership).  The burden is the party wanting to exempt an item to show exempt status.

Those are the theories, but in practice many grey areas arise. In the case of certain property previously owned by one person and that remains solely in their name – such as the house or retirement funds – it can be shown that the other spouse is entitled to a fair share of the appreciation value during the marriage.

The court will examine several factors, including: (1) the length of marriage; (2) the standard of living during the marriage; (3) the economic circumstances of each party; (4) the age and health of the parties at divorce.

While each item’s history and use is relevant, so can be the parties’ current ages and relative economic positions.  At the Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group, each of our attorneys is experienced) in New Jersey divorce law. We know how the courts interpret the equitable distribution statute and can help you receive your fair share of assets to secure your future.

New Jersey Divorce the Only Viable Option for Many

Few people get married with one eye set on divorce in the future. It’s something that most of us don’t even like to think about. Marriage can take couples down paths that twist and turn and may even cause them to grow apart. As time goes on, circumstances can change, and getting a legal New Jersey divorce may become the only viable option for a couple to make.

Getting a divorce is not a decision that anyone should take lightly. Lives may change in dramatically different ways. Yet those different paths often become a blessing in disguise for couples who have tried to keep it together, to no avail. For many, divorce becomes a fact of life that needs to be handled in a compassionate and understanding manner.

Those seeking a New Jersey divorce will need to work with an attorney throughout the process. When it comes to choosing the right attorney, it is important to go with one who understands you and the challenges you are going through, and who will be patient and caring enough to help you through this time, standing by you every step of the way.

You may be going through a difficult time, but when you have someone by your side that has the expertise, experience and compassion to guide you through the process of obtaining a New Jersey divorce, you will feel better. Contact Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group, LLC, we are here to help

Contact a skilled New Jersey family law attorney for help with domestic violence

It is natural for couples to have fights and various arguments throughout their relationship.  However, when these fights escalate to include verbal abuse and physical assault, you should know that protection is available to you.  Whether your abuser is your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, domestic violence and abuse is a crime – seeking the counsel of a skilled New Jersey family law attorney is often the best method for getting help with this type of situation.  For your protection, a New Jersey family law attorney can help you obtain a restraining order.

In New Jersey, a restraining order is a court-order issued by a judge that provides specific protection for your safety and well-being.  If you are the victim of threats or abusive behaviors, you should contact a local police department, call 9-1-1 or go to a local court house and report the incident.  A judge is available and is on-call, even after hours, for these types of emergency situations and has the power to execute an immediate temporary restraining order.

After a temporary restraining order has been issued, a formal hearing will take place before a superior court judge in the family division to determine if the temporary restraining order should be converted into a final restraining order.  Both sides have the opportunity to present their cases to the court, and a judge will make the final decision.  If granted, this restraining order serves as full protection for an indefinite period of time.  If the abuser fails to comply with the terms of the final restraining order, the violation can result in a criminal record and possible jail time.

For domestic violence questions or concerns, contact us in New Jersey at the Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group, or call us at (973)520-8822.  We are a family law firm with the experience and commitment to help you with your most complex legal needs.