It’s hoped that every marriage can be mended and saved, but the truth is divorce happens, and almost always for some very serious reasons.
Think the end of a marriage is all downside? This doesn’t have to be true! If your relationship is best labeled as “irretrievably broken,” here are five silver linings you can look forward to now that you have made the decision to divorce.
Less Fighting: If you are like most couples headed for the divorce, the past several months (or in some case, several years) of your relationship have probably been marked by tension, arguments, slammed doors, raised voices, name calling and accusations, and worse. Let’s face it, no one wants a marriage to fail, but when a marriage is over, one major benefit is greater peace of mind, especially when it comes to the home environment. Yes, disagreements can break out during the divorce, but you will have a lawyer or a judge there to help you sort things out. If you have dreaded coming home from work because you knew what was in store, give a sigh of relief because those days may be over for good.
It’s Your Independence Day: What do you want for dinner? Where do you want to go on vacation this year? Why don’t you call if you are going to be home so late? If you feel like much of your married life has been spent making your spouse’s needs and desires a top priority, get ready, because after your divorce, you come first! Sure, there’s a balance if you have kids, but if you’ve always wanted to do things like sleep on the other side of the bed without having to ask first, now is your chance. Feeling independent and in control…two great silver linings.
More Focus on Your Children: Maybe you haven’t had as much fun together as a family because of all the fighting between you and your spouse. Or maybe you moved out of the family home and haven’t seen your kids too much in the past few months. Once you have a parenting time plan put in place that outlines your time with your children, you might be amazed at what “quality time” can do for your relationship with your kids. Focusing on your children when it’s your turn to be with them is a powerful way to bond and show them how much you care.
So many divorce parents say that it’s only after their marriage ended that they were finally able to establish real loving closeness with their children. Now that’s a silver lining!
Feeling Better About the Future: When most people get married, they envision a long, happy life together. The rocky times before divorce can turn this picture on its head. This is why one major silver lining of divorce is the ability to start looking forward to a future that you get to create! You are now in charge of your financial planning, and your ability to be an emotionally happy person. It might take some time to get there, but many who go through divorce report feeling more hopeful about the future than ever before.
Stronger Ties with Friends and Family: Once you go through divorce, it may amaze you how much of your time and energy was spent trying to save a relationship that was ultimately beyond repair. Once you go solo, it’s likely that you will quickly realize that you are not going it alone. Your friends, your family, your attorney, even your co-workers who have gone through a divorce…there are important people in your life who want to be there for you during this time, so let them in. Feeling this kind of loving support is one more silver lining you’ll be grateful for.