If you’re used to documenting your day on social media, think twice before you share certain aspects of your life online during and after your divorce. Information about your love life, your kids, and your standard of living can give your ex ample reason and motivation to amp up conflict. So before you hit post, here are some social media guidelines to keep your amicable split from turning ugly.
Be social…with your eyes wide open. It’s critical that you assume whatever you put online will be available to anyone, forever. Before you hit post, get in the habit of asking your asking yourself: Will this post inflame conflict between my ex and me? Will it hurt my kids? How will it affect my professional reputation? How it could be used in divorce and custody hearings? How will I come across to friends and family? Don’t assume that having sky high privacy settings will prevent negative information from getting to your ex. It can and does happen every day.
Block/unfollow when appropriate. Tempted to keep tabs on your ex? Don’t be a glutton for punishment! Obsessively tracking their curated life will waste time and invite despair. Disengage emotionally by blocking and unfollowing your former spouse and anyone associated with them. Blocking these people will also prevent them from keeping tabs on you, or sending unwanted messages.
Don’t flaunt your new romance. A surefire way to ratchet up conflict between you and your ex is to show the world how blissfully happy you are with your gorgeous paramour. Signaling to your STBX that you’ve moved on could raise questions about when you started the relationship, and how you’re choosing to spend your money – which in turn could make your negotiations go south. (Even when you know everything is on the up and up!) Wait until your divorce is final and safely in your rearview mirror to post photos of you with your new plus-one.
Don’t trash your ex online. Resist the urge to detail your ex’s flaws and transgressions. You never know who might be reading, and who might be in your ex’s camp. Would you want your harsh words ending up before a judge? Or in front of your kids, who will just feel pulled to take sides – perhaps against you? If you must vent, do so in the safety of a therapist’s office, or with your most tight-lipped friends.
Skip posting the “living large” photos. Sharing pictures of your exotic vacation, 5-star dinner, or snazzy new wardrobe could hurt your financial settlement. It doesn’t matter if someone else paid for your luxe accommodations and meals; appearing lavish could make it look like you’re hiding money, don’t need the alimony you’re claiming and/or are mis-spending child support.
Want something to safely Tweet? How about this: Taking steps to keep your divorce offline, and private, will help you exit your marriage gracefully and set the stage for an amicable co-parenting relationship.
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