If you can’t shake off the psychological goblins that often accompany divorce – anger, guilt, resentment, and fear – you may need help clearing your emotional divorce clutter. The theory behind clutter clearing is that the presence of unruly items in our personal space drains our energy. Ridding living and work areas of superfluous stuff frees up internal resources so that we can focus on manifesting positive change instead of being dragged down into the past. Although this practice is generally applied to purging tangible objects, the principles can be used to clear emotional debris as well.
Clutter Clearing Rituals Can Provide Closure
We have rituals to mark many life transitions (weddings, bar mitzvahs, baptisms, funerals), but divorce is not one of them. At a time when people feel confused and destabilized there are no formal rites of passage to usher them from their old married life to a new chapter. Creating clutter-clearing rituals for divorce can enable those going through the process to get closure so they can create space for new relationships, endeavors, and ways of being.
How To Plan a Divorce Clutter Clearing Ceremony
Divorce Clutter Clearing ceremonies don’t focus on the ex-spouse, and don’t involve ex-bashing. Whether performed alone or with one’s “tribe,” the activities should be geared towards manifesting abundance and positive change. If you want to create a Divorce Clutter Clearing ceremony for yourself or someone else, here are 7 tips to follow.
- Write intentions. You and your friends should write down hopes, wishes, and intentions for your future. People can read their wishes aloud if they choose. After the readings, the written intentions are then placed in a keepsake box. You can read the intentions when you need emotional support or reminders of your goals. As time passes, it can be gratifying to see which intentions have manifested.
- Reading aloud a personal mission statement. This will take some preparation on your part. A personal mission statement includes one’s calling, values, and goals. It also details an action plan for achieving goals that align with one’s values and life purpose. Sharing the mission statement with your support team can be a powerful way of committing to love, honor, and cherish your own life.
- Smudging ritual. Herbs, especially sage, are often used to clear your spirit and home of negativity. Dried sage leaves known as “smudge sticks” are lit and carried through every room in the house, or are allowed to burn out in a bowl. Smudging is especially powerful if you’re remaining in the marital home; it symbolizes clearing out painful memories to make room for new, positive ones.
- Good luck symbols. Good luck tokens are visual touchstones. They remind you of the friend who gifted the token and create positive energy. Many items and figurines can serve as good luck tokens, but common ones include: Ganesh, the Indian god of overcoming obstacles; St. Christopher, the patron saint of protection; a horseshoe, the Feng Shui symbol of good luck and protection. As part of a blessing ritual, your friends would present their tokens and symbols and explain what each one is for. You may also choose to place the tokens in designated spots around the house during the ceremony.
- Junk removal. The prospect of facing items that were accumulated during marriage can be so overwhelming that you can’t face it on your own. Yet avoiding this important task drains energy; subconsciously, you’re always aware that your marriage “junk” is taking up space. Asking your friends to help you clear out a room or two, and even take boxes to Goodwill, can provide the emotional support you need to expunge painful memories and create space for a positive present and future.
- Vision board. A vision board is a tool that helps clarify life goals. Some pre-ceremony planning is involved. You need to spend time focusing on goals for different areas of your life: love, career, family, health, finances, etc. Then you need to collect photos, pictures from magazines, inspirational quotes, and other small objects that represent what you want to manifest in your life. During the ceremony, you and your friends will glue and/or tape these items in a collage format on a piece of poster board. Although you can make the vision board on your own, having your friends join in can help you articulate what’s important to you.
- Gratitude statements. If you become consumed by the losses that accompany divorce, you will overlook the gifts that you still have. Take advantage of this gathering to honor the people who comprise your “tribe.” Prepare written statements for each one, explaining what he or she means to you and brings to your life. You may choose to speak extemporaneously, but expressing your gratitude on paper will reinforce your sense of abundance, and give your guests tangible evidence of their value.
As long as you focus on the positive, the possibilities for clearing activities are endless. Divorce clutter clearing rituals can give you emotional closure that no attorney, judge, or therapist can. Once you acknowledge the end of a chapter in your life, you can focus your energy on creating a new one that suits you.
Have questions about your divorce? Ready for an approach that helps you move on quickly — without sacrificing a positive settlement? We can help. To meet with one of our skilled family law attorneys, contact us today to schedule a time to come in. For your convenience, we have offices throughout New Jersey. Call us today: 888-888-0919.