Recognizing that your behaviors directly impact your spouse – and adjusting them when need be – is essential for a successful marriage. Want to ensure that your relationship is on the right track? Read on to learn what surefire marriage-enders you need to stop doing right now!Refusing to pick up after yourself. You don’t have to be a neat freak, but following guidelines for basic cleanliness is important. For instance: dirty clothes belong in a hamper, not strewn across the closet the floor. Dishes will not scrub themselves, so don’t pile food-crusted plates on the counter. If you’ve worked out an agreement for the division of household labor, deliver what you promised. Habitually leaving messes is a symptom of a bigger problem: a lack of respect for the most important person in your life. So treat your spouse like a partner, not a maid service.
Being irresponsible with money. Financial problems are one of the leading causes of divorce. You shouldn’t have to get your spouse’s permission before making minor purchases, but you also shouldn’t buy expensive items without getting your partner’s ok. It’s vital that couples be transparent about finances: both parties should have access to shared accounts and no one should withdraw funds or take out a line of credit in secret. Spending with no regard for the household budget creates an unsafe environment and shatters trust. Your spouse shouldn’t be chronically worried that there won’t be money to pay the mortgage or stock the refrigerator.
Ignoring your spouse’s sexual needs and preferences. Sexual incompatibility is another predictor of divorce. Consistently rejecting your spouse’s advances can constitute sexual abandonment, a ground for divorce. If you don’t want to meet your spouse’s sexual needs, find out why. Sex therapy can help couples remediate sexual dysfunction. If left unacknowledged, sexual problems will eventually lead to a breakdown in emotional intimacy, and possible infidelity and divorce.
Letting your parents run your marriage. You’re married to your spouse, not your parents. That means that you need to communicate with your partner about the amount of contact you have with your family-of-origin. Your parents should not be dictating how long they can stay at your house, or what the agenda will be. It’s okay to let your parents share the wisdom of their lived experience, but it’s quite another to let them decorate the house or tell your spouse how to raise the children. One of the biggest developmental tasks of marriage is setting healthy boundaries with extended family. In order to have a healthy partnership, your spouse needs to feel he or she is the most important person in your life – not your mother.
Not treating your mental illness or addiction. If you’re single and choose not to treat your mental illness or addiction, you alone deal with the negative consequences. But once you’re married, refusing to manage your condition will put your spouse in the position of being your full-time caregiver. If you lose your job due to drug addiction, your spouse will have to compensate for the financial loss. If you can’t get out of bed for days, he or she will have to shoulder all the housework and all the childcare. And if you’re consumed by your internal struggles, you won’t be available to meet your spouse’s needs. Even though you didn’t choose to have mental illness or addiction, you are still responsible for managing what ails you.
For many couples trying to save their marriage, a reconciliation agreement is a legal salutation that can greatly help increase peace of mind. To speak with a family law attorney and learn about your rights and options, contact us to schedule an initial consultation. Secure your future and your peace of mind. Call us today at 888-888-0919 or click the button below.