Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady have made headlines lately for the rocky patch they’ve hit in their marriage. In the latest development, the pair have reportedly each hired their own divorce attorney. Gossip outlets speculate this move is basically a declaration the marriage is over. But is it? This may come as surprising news to some, but working with a divorce attorney could be the very thing that helps to save your marriage and prevent a divorce.
Here are three reasons why.
Meeting with a divorce attorney is a reality check
In one of the recent leaks about Gisele and Tom, it was noted that the pair’s relationship fracture dates back to a “huge argument,” supposedly over Tom “un-retiring” and returning to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Filing for divorce in the heated aftermath of an argument is common, but it can also be short-sighted. Once the divorce ball gets rolling, it’s often very difficult for spouses to stop the momentum and reevaluate whether permanently splitting is truly the best decision.
In the calm of a divorce attorney’s office, however, there’s space for reflection. At a divorce consultation, the attorney will walk you through the steps of divorce, your rights and responsibilities, and give you an idea of what pitfalls or challenges you will face in the process. For some spouses, understanding just how final divorce is – and just how time-consuming and stressful the process can be – is their “wake up call” that maybe there is a way to work through the hot button issue that got them to this point. Here’s a tip: schedule a divorce consultation before you file just to be sure that this is what you really want.
Spouses who truly have “irreconcilable differences” may indeed be in a healthier, happier place after divorce. Other spouses, however, are able to work through their differences and reconcile. An eye-opening conversation with a divorce attorney may be just what you need for motivation.
The divorce attorney can suggest legal remedies that give you both breathing room
Financial disagreements that erupt in marriage are a frequent stressor that can lead to divorce. Fights may break over one spouse spending too much in credit card debt and/or one or both spouses feeling financial insecurity or financial stress. When these types of situations are brought to light during a consultation, a divorce attorney could recommend a post-nuptial agreement as a tool to relieve the financial disagreement, rather than divorce. A post-nuptial agreement is similar to a prenuptial agreement, only the terms are negotiated after you’re already married. At any point in your marriage, you can work with an attorney to create terms around asset and finance-related issues that would kick in if a divorce were to go forward. For example, spouses can pre-decide alimony terms or what would happen to the house in a divorce. Spouses could also agree that all debt on a certain credit card was only the responsibility of the spouse who used the card. For many spouses, having certainty about the future – no matter what – can bring the peace of mind needed to do the vulnerable work of repairing a relationship.
When marital difficulties were so severe that one of you has already filed for divorce, but now the two of you are trying to work through your issues, you may want to explore the legal option of having a reconciliation agreement put in place. A reconciliation agreement is a specific type of post-nuptial agreement in which spouses agree to remain married and dismiss any pending divorce case in exchange for a promise addressing the split of marital assets. For couples truly on the brink, a reconciliation agreement can provide incentive and add gravitas to the decision you have made to save your marriage.
A divorce attorney helps you remember that children go through divorce too
When spouses decide to file for divorce on impulse, they may be so focused on whatever tensions led to that moment that they lose sight of the bigger picture of their life together, including their children.
Talking to a divorce attorney about child custody can show you all the possible legal repercussions of getting divorced when you have children, including no longer having unlimited time with your kids. In many cases, this is enough to make parents reconsider their decision to see if they can work through their problems. Does this mean that you should ever stay in a bad or abusive marriage for the sake of your children? No. There’s a quote from the author Jennifer Weiner that you can take to heart here: “Divorce isn’t a tragedy. A tragedy is staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your kids the wrong things about love.”
Are Tom and Gisele still able to repair their relationship? Time will tell. What about you and your spouse? Divorce irrevocably changes the course of your life and your children’s lives. If you are at all ambivalent about ending your marriage – or divorce feels like it might be a rash decision – now is the time to make a concerted effort to see if your relationship is worth saving.
If you would like to meet with a divorce attorney to understand your options and the ramifications of divorce in your life, we invite you to schedule a consultation with one of our highly experienced family lawyers. Schedule a confidential consultation today by calling us a 888-888-0919, or click the green button below to connect.