Answering Young Children’s Questions About Divorce

children's questions about divorce

Now that you’ve decided to get a divorce, it’s time to tell your kids. Keep in mind: small children are at a developmental stage when they need object constancy. They need to know that even though you aren’t with them everyday, you are still their parent, and they are going to see you on a regular basis. Although you’re faced with a conversation no parent wants to have, there are things you can do to provide reassurance and answer your child’s questions in a developmentally appropriate way. Read more

5 Things To Say (Or Not To Say) When You Tell Your Kids About Your Divorce

Talking to Children about Divorce

There’s no easy way to tell your kids that life, as they know it, is about to change forever. But there are some ways to make the experience as gentle as possible. How can help your children feel secure and loved during this transition? Here are five things to say, or not say, when you explain to your kids that you’re divorcing. Read more

Considering Older Kids’ Preferences When Determining Parenting Time Plans

older kids and divorceParenting time plans developed during a child’s early years may need to be adjusted as a child matures, particularly during adolescence. The 3-year-old who clung to his mother’s legs when Dad arrived for visitation may decide he wants to spend most, or even all of his time with his father as he nears legal adulthood. How are an older child’s preferences taken into account when making child custody decisions? Read more

8 Ways To Protect Your Kids From The Fall-Out Of A High-Conflict Divorce

divorce parenting

Studies show that it’s not divorce in itself that hurts kids in the long-term; it’s the level conflict that lingers between parents. Being successful at the job of being a divorced parent requires finding ways to deal with any contempt for or anger towards your ex, and support your children’s relationship with their other parent. If your former spouse cheated on you or walked out on you for any number of reasons, you may still be in bad place of deep hurt. However, unless your child’s other parent is abusive or there is a legitimate issue that renders your former spouse unable to parent (a mental illness or substance abuse issue that impairs their daily functioning), learning how to manage your feelings about him or her so they don’t bleed over onto your kids is a co-parenting must. Read on for some helpful tips on how to get yourself to a better place. Read more

New Jersey Supreme Court Issues Opinion on Special Immigration Juvenile Status Cases

child immigration

The New Jersey Supreme Court recently issued a decision in two consolidated cases, H.S.P. v. J.K. and K.G. v. M.S., clarifying the role of family courts in special immigration juvenile status (SIJS) cases. This opinion brings attention to the grave circumstances that can drive families to send their children on perilous journeys across international borders, and discusses the legal process involved in seeking one potential avenue for such children to establish legal residency in the United States. If you are the parent, relative, or friend of one of these children, this information may be of great value. Read more

High Conflict Divorce: When Co-Parenting Doesn’t Work, Try Parallel Parenting

high conflict divorce hurts kidsCo-parenting, viewed by therapists and family law professionals as the gold standard for post-divorce parenting, works when both parents are willing and able to set aside their personal grievances and support their child’s relationship with the other parent. To do this, both parents need to be able to communicate calmly, follow the conditions of the custody and child support order, and agree on a plethora of child-related issues such as medical care, education, religious training, and discipline.

Negotiating child rearing is a tall order, even for two people who love each other. It’s an even taller order for two reasonably well-adjusted people whose irreconcilable differences have led them to end their marriage. But if both people are determined to keep their children off the battleground of their divorce, they can usually learn the skills necessary to become successful co-parents.

High-conflict personalities, however, frequently lack the motivation to co-parent because, by definition, they are unable to work through their anger at the other party. Read more

Free Range Parenting v. Helicopter Parenting: What is the Law in New Jersey?

iStock_000016682576XSmallThe New Jersey Law Journal has just published an article by attorney Bari Weinberger discussing how laws that attempt to protect children can impact a parent’s right to make decisions. “Free range parenting,” Weinberger explains, “is a term coined in reaction to what some consider to be a recent trend toward over-protectiveness of children. Free range parents perceive this over-protectiveness, sometimes called “helicopter-parenting,” as a futile attempt to protect children from every conceivable risk of harm, potentially at the expense of a child’s development of age-appropriate independence.” Read more

5 Rules for Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce

Co-parenting is often considered the gold standard for parenting after divorce, but what does this term even mean? Read more

5 Summer Co-Parenting Tips For Divorced Families

Kids playing at the beach

With schools out for summer, it’s normal for parenting routines to change. Bedtimes tend to be later, kids might attend camp or lessons, and maybe a special trip is planned. For divorced or separated parents, summertime can mean even more changes in your family life, some of which may be stressful, especially if your kids will spend extended time with their other parent or your agreed parenting time schedule changes over school vacation.

Not sure how you will manage summer vacation as a co-parent? Here are 5 tips on how to cope and keep your cool. Read more

5 Tips Celebrating Your Child’s Graduation When You’re A Divorced Parent

High school graduation hats highGraduation season is officially here! If your child is one of the thousands of New Jersey high school seniors about to don cap and gown as a member of the class of 2015, emotions may be running high — for both you and your graduate — as your child reaches a true milestone in life. As a divorced parent, it’s normal for some of these emotions to relate to your child’s other parent (your former spouse). Whatever the status of your relationship with your ex, your former spouse’s presence at your child’s graduation may stir up past resentments or magnify currents ones.

What can you do to celebrate your child’s graduation with all the joy and happiness this special moment deserves? Here are five strategies for getting through graduation without letting your ex get in the way.  Read more