The 5 Dos And Don’ts Of Starting Your Divorce
Think it’s time to head to the courthouse to file for your divorce? After making the difficult decision to end your marriage, you may feel emotionally ready to take the next step, but before you fill out a single form, it’s prudent to make sure that you are also legally prepared for the read ahead. To help you out, here are some pointers to consider before you file: Read more
Can You Get A Divorce Do-Over?
What happens when months after your divorce, you find out an error was made in your settlement — a big one — because of information your former spouse failed to disclose? Here are some of the factors that could lead the courts to grant you a divorce “do-over.”
For an overview of the process, let’s take a look at Sarah’s unexpected discovery when taking care of some post-divorce paperwork.
Do I Get More In My Divorce If My Spouse Cheated?
Wronged spouses everywhere have fantasized about taking their soon-to-be exes “to the cleaners” as punishment for having an affair during their marriage. The belief that one spouse will get more out of the marital bank account because of the other’s bad behavior is widespread. But under New Jersey family law, this belief is also a mistaken one.
Here’s why. Read more
How To Avoid Holiday Pitfalls With Your High-Conflict Ex
Worried that your high-conflict ex will be the grinch who steals your holiday good cheer? You can’t control what your drama-seeking former spouse does, but you can strategize ways to manage the crazy so you and your kids can enjoy this special time of year. If you keep in mind what motivates narcissists, you’ll know what to expect — and know how to cope! Read more
How Do I know if My Spouse is Spying on Me?
Spousal spying may be the newest form of spousal abuse and it is sadly becoming more and more common as technological advances make it easier for one spouse to spy on the other. How can you tell if your spouse is inappropriately tracking you? Read more
Coping With A Blue Christmas: Your First Holiday Season After Divorce
There’s nothing quite like the holiday season, with its emphasis on family togetherness, to make a newly divorced person feel alone in a strange, post-divorce land. Everything feels different. You may not have the time nor desire to deck the halls or you’re worried about letting your kids down if you can’t afford the biggest tree or stuffed-to-the brim stockings. And you’re sad about all the traditions that won’t take place this year.
While it’s normal to feel a surge of grief around the holidays, you don’t have to let anger, sadness, and denial spoil the season. The best way to manage a blue Christmas is to acknowledge what you’re missing and focus on what you’ve got. Read more
Is January The Best Month To File For Divorce?
Deciding to divorce can be a very emotional choice to make, for good reason. But the decision you must make after that — choosing the date you will actually file for divorce — requires more strategic thinking.
Your divorce filing date profoundly affects certain financial aspects of your overall divorce settlement. Because it signals the official beginning of the divorce legal process, your filing date can also impact you and your children psychologically.
When is the best time to file for divorce? Every divorce is different, but for people who have made the decision to divorce in the fall or during the holiday season, the answer is often January.
Here’s why: Read more
How To Avoid A Disastrous Divorce
Making decisions in divorce fueled by hurt and anger may feel temporarily satisfying — but in the long run only sets the stage for an expensive, antagonistic, and psychologically damaging process that will leave you drained and your co-parenting relationship ruined before it even starts. Avoid disaster! Read on for tips on how to keep your divorce on a more even keel. Read more
How To Divorce Mrs. Personality Disorder
Marriage to a spouse with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is tough, but divorcing one can be even tougher. Mrs. BPD is acutely sensitive to any real, or perceived, threat of abandonment. She has difficulty regulating her moods, making her prone to extreme reactions. Similar to narcissists, those with BPD have black-and-white worldviews: if they believe you’re on their side, you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but if you look at them the wrong way five minutes later, you’re charred toast.
Mrs. BPD may not be as Machiavellian as her narcissistic counterpart, because she’s driven by emotions she can’t control. You can’t change your BPD spouse, but you can learn ways to defuse the conflict she incites and manage your own reactions to her.
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