Divorce. It is emotionally wrenching. It is physically exhausting. And, it can be financially draining. But, divorce, for all the bad it can be, can leave you a happier, healthier and all-around better person. While it may not seem so during your divorce, when the dust settles and the smoke clears, you just may find yourself in an even better place than where you were before the divorce began. Here are some ways that you find yourself better after your case is over:
Finances: Yes, you may have spent a pretty penny on your divorce proceedings, including on your divorce attorney. But, having to go through a divorce forces you to become a better budget maker and more accountable to yourself for the money you spend, especially if you were financially dependent on your ex. Now, you must learn to build your own credit, plan for expenditures and prepare for your own retirement. It is never a bad thing to become more financially savvy and fiscally responsible.
Confidence: You have been through a terrible time in your life and you have weathered the storm. You looked to yourself to find the strength to make it through, which can be especially difficult for spouses who relied emotionally on their partner for validation. Now, as you move forward with this next chapter, you move confidently, knowing that no matter what life throws at you, you can handle it on your own.
Reconnecting: Perhaps you were isolated socially during your marriage. Your old relationships with friends and family suffered and important connections that you had and relied upon were lost or strained. Now that you have moved on from your marriage, you have the time and space to reconnect with the important people in your life. You are able to dictate your own schedule and make your own plans to spend time with loved ones. You are also now able to explore new places, make new friends and forge new relationships when the time is right.
Creating New Roles: You now have the ability to create new roles in life for yourself. Of course, this is difficult for the spouse that saw their only role in life as “spouse.” It is important for you to find new niches in life and interests that drive your enthusiasm. Perhaps you always wanted to learn photography. Or, maybe you want to go back to school to complete your Master’s Degree. Looking at this time as a period of self-exploration is one way to overcome feelings of isolation and fear. Whatever it is that feeds your curiosity and fulfills you, you should explore. You never know what your new roles in life will be. Exploring untapped interests can be both a place to positively let go of the grief brought on by divorce and a way to redefine yourself.
Better Parenting: If you have kids, being divorce may just be an opportunity to become and even better parent. If you were living in a tense, hostile or unhappy home with your spouse and the children, not only did your children perceive the unhappiness, but your behavior was undoubtedly affected by the constant negativity in which you were residing. When you have a strong child custody and parenting time plan in effect, you can find yourself much less tense or agitated and you will avoid letting these negative emotions bleed through into your relationships with your kids. They will also be all that much happier to have a more centered and focused you.
According to recent Huffington Post blog on the topic, “It’s hard to get out of bed some days after divorce, let alone map out a future spent on your own. But at some point in the process, you start to realize that you’re so much more than your relationship status and that life goes on — and gets better — after divorce.”
If you are thinking about filing for divorce and want further advice or if you are in the midst of a divorce and want to learn your rights and responsibilities, please contact us to set up your initial consultation with one of our compassionate and knowledgeable family law attorneys.