The decisions you make when you go through divorce will impact you and your children the rest of your life. Preparing yourself emotionally before you begin the process will help you keep a clear head so you can make sound choices. If you didn’t have a chance to get out in front of the divorce because your spouse surprised you with the news, it’s even more important to employ strategies now to get your emotions under control.
Divorcing in 2019? Take these 5 steps to enter the process emotionally prepared.
Get organized. Scrambling to find paperwork or wasting time in your attorney’s office searching for your tax return will stress your already frazzled nerves. Stay calm by organizing your divorce paperwork. Put hard copies in a notebook, with sections for legal, financial, and custody. Consider saving computer files in Google Drive in case your computer crashes or you lose access to it. Taking the time to organize your paperwork and files on a daily basis will help keep you from getting overwhelmed in the long run.
See a divorce therapist. There are drawbacks to leaning solely on friends and family for emotional support. Your loved ones may fuel your anger by hating your spouse as much as you do, or they may ratchet up your anxiety by questioning your lawyer’s advice. Be sparing in the details you share with friends and save the venting for a trained divorce therapist who teach you coping strategies for the road ahead.
Practice self-care. Insomnia and poor eating habits can turn you into an emotional train wreck. If you can’t sleep, try mediating at night to calm your mind or take a soothing bath. If the thought of food makes you gag, try eating small, protein-rich meals every few hours to regulate your blood sugar. Regular exercise will help stabilize your mood. Bottom line: taking care of your body helps take care of your mind — a key aspect of being emotionally ready for divorce.
Develop coping strategies. Don’t wait until you’re having a panic attack to acquire coping skills. Learn emotional regulation techniques to keep in your toolbox, so you can implement readily as needed. Meditation, journaling, deep breathing, grounding exercises, taking a hot bath, or going for a jog, are all excellent strategies to lighten your divorce overload.
Getting sound professional advice is another key element in being emotionally ready for divorce. Do your homework by consulting with a family law attorney before you move forward with divorce.
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