A recent headline involving former NFL star Steve Smith Sr. has reignited public interest in “homewrecker laws.” In the viral story, Smith was accused of having an affair with a married woman, which resulted in the paramour’s husband filing a lawsuit against Smith under North Carolina’s “alienation of affection” statute – a law that allows a spouse to sue a third party for interfering in their marriage.
Another notable homewrecker case in recent years involved motivational speaker Tony Robbins, who was sued for monetary damages by the ex-husband of Robbins’ second wife Sage for being the catalyst for the marriage ending. As the NY Post worded it in their headline story on the saga, Robbins was accused of “self-helping himself” to someone’s wife. Sage’s ex-husband lives in Canada; Robbins is a resident of Florida. The case appears to have been privately settled.
Could a case like this happen in New Jersey? When infidelity is a factor in divorce, here is what state law says about the ability of one spouse to sue their spouse’s lover for their role in breaking up the marriage.
New Jersey Does Not Have a Homewrecker Law
Unlike a handful of other states, New Jersey does not recognize alienation of affection as grounds for any kind of claim. These types of “heart balm” torts were abolished decades ago, along with the notion that a third party could be held financially responsible for ending a marriage. In other words, you cannot sue your spouse’s affair partner in New Jersey for being the “homewrecker” of your marriage, no matter how hurt or betrayed you feel.
However, adultery absolutely can still play a role in a New Jersey divorce case, just not in the way many people assume.
The Impact of Adultery on a NJ Divorce
New Jersey is a “no-fault” divorce state, but it also allows for fault-based grounds, including adultery. If your spouse cheated, you can file for divorce on the grounds of adultery. In doing so, you must name of person (the correspondent) with whom your spouse committed adultery, if known. If you do not know the person’s name, then you must include a description of the person, and the time, place and description of the adulterous events. When identified, that person is given the right to respond to your allegations. What is important to remember: the correspondent cannot be held financially accountable for their actions, no matter how well documented their actions were.
Needing to prove adultery when filing on this fault ground can add cost and time to the divorce process, and increase conflict.
If you file on the no fault ground of irreconcilable differences, does that mean looking the other way on your spouse’s wrongdoing? Absolutely not. In a no fault divorce, adultery can still be addressed strategically, depending on your goals and evidence.
Here’s how adultery can affect different aspects of a divorce:
1. Alimony & Asset Division
Adultery could impact alimony and division of marital property. If you can prove your spouse spent significant marital assets or on the affair (for example, expensive gifts, vacations, or hotel stays), the court may adjust the division of property or alimony award to account for this “dissipation of marital assets.” One form of this repayment could be in the form of a higher alimony payment or a greater share of asset division.
If the spouse who cheated is the one seeking alimony, having an affair does not automatically disqualify them from receiving support. However, in cases where one spouse could be cohabiting with a new partner (which is grounds for terminating alimony), the courts will want to see evidence of this before making a decision.
2. Enforcing Terms of a Prenuptial Agreement
If the prenuptial agreement you signed before getting married contains a clause such as, if you cheat, you become ineligible for alimony (or give up certain assets), be prepared for your spouse to act upon this, or use it as a heavy-duty bargaining chip in negotiations.
3. Child Custody
Courts base custody decisions on the best interests of the child. A parent’s affair typically won’t impact custody unless it can be shown that the cheating behavior directly harmed the child or compromised that parent’s ability to provide a stable, safe environment.
4. Negligent Transmission of a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD)
Did your spouse give you a STD as a result of their cheating? New Jersey courts recognize marital tort claims for the negligent infliction of a sexually transmitted disease, such as herpes, HIV, gonorrhea, or chlamydia. These cases often involve a spouse who had an extramarital affair, contracted an STD, and then unknowingly or knowingly passed it on to their partner through unprotected sexual contact, without disclosing either the cheating or the diagnosis.
If this has happened to you, it’s important to tell your attorney. There is no shame in disclosing this information; your lawyer will treat it with confidentiality and seriousness and can advise you on whether a civil marital tort claim for monetary damages (called a Tevis claim in NJ) is appropriate alongside the divorce.
Starting your new chapter
Every situation is unique. If you’re facing divorce involving infidelity, we encourage you to speak with an experienced New Jersey family law attorney who can explain your rights and develop a strategy tailored to your goals.
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