Whether you’re only beginning to think about ending your marriage or you’re already certain it’s time to move on, how you prepare before filing for divorce can significantly impact your finances, your children, and your peace of mind.
If you’re in New Jersey, there are several key steps to take before you file for divorce. Taking these proactive measures can help you feel more in control and confident as you move through the process.
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1. Ask Yourself: Is Divorce Really the Best Step?
Divorce is not just a legal process—it’s an emotional and life-altering transition. Before filing, take an honest look at your marriage. Is there a possibility for repair? Would you consider counseling or mediation before making a final decision?
Steps to consider:
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Try Marriage Counseling or Therapy: Sometimes, a neutral third party (in this case, a therapist) can help uncover root issues and open a path forward—whether that’s reconciliation or separation.
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Get Financial Clarity: If financial stress is a major cause of tension, talking to a financial advisor may help stabilize your situation and improve communication.
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Explore a Reconciliation Agreement: This legal document can outline what would happen financially if you divorce, while still giving space to try to work things out.
Even if you do decide to move forward with divorce, you’ll know it was the right choice, made with clarity—not just emotion.
2. Define What You Want from Your Divorce
Before filing, take time to figure out your priorities. Divorce isn’t only about ending a relationship—it’s about creating a new beginning. What do you want your life to look like afterward?
Questions to ask yourself:
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What financial settlement will you need? Create a budget for post-divorce life. Think about your income, living situation, and whether you may need or pay alimony.
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What’s best for your children? Decide what kind of custody arrangement makes the most sense. What schedule is best for your kids—and for you?
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What lifestyle changes are coming? Will you need to move, change jobs, or adjust spending? Start planning for those changes now.
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What assets or debts matter most? Identify what’s important to keep and what you’re willing to negotiate. Being clear on your goals helps avoid unnecessary conflict.
Knowing what you want before the process starts puts you in a stronger position to advocate for yourself.
3. Get Your Financial Documents in Order
Nothing adds more stress to divorce than being unprepared financially. The sooner you organize your financial records, the smoother the process will be, especially when it comes to dividing assets, determining support, or simply budgeting for the future.
Start with these steps:
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Gather documentation: Collect tax returns, pay stubs, bank and credit card statements, loan and mortgage documents, and retirement account information. Try to go back at least three years. [Download our Divorce Financial Checklist to stay on track!]
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Create a list of marital assets: This typically includes the family home, vehicles, investments, business interests, and any valuable items you’ve acquired together.
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Identify separate property: Anything you owned before marriage or received as a gift or inheritance should be noted as separate.
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Check your credit report: Know what debts are in your name and look for joint accounts that may need to be closed or monitored.
Being financially informed empowers you to make smart, confident decisions about your future.
4. Think About Privacy and Protection
Divorce often brings heightened emotions and conflict. It’s wise to take steps to secure your personal information and digital privacy before tensions escalate.
Tips for protecting your privacy:
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Change passwords for email, banking, and social media accounts.
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Secure important documents in a safe place.
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Open a new personal email or P.O. box if needed for confidential correspondence.
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Consider separating your phone plan or online accounts from your spouse’s access.
Protecting your privacy isn’t about being sneaky. Rather, it’s about creating healthy boundaries and ensuring your safety during an emotionally charged process.
5. Consider a Pre-Filing Strategy
Filing first gives you the opportunity to plan ahead, and possibly negotiate a settlement in advance. Settling issues like child custody, alimony, or property division before filing can save you time, money, and emotional stress.
Before filing:
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Speak to a divorce attorney to understand your rights and how to file strategically.
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Explore mediation or collaborative divorce options.
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Document parenting arrangements and financial agreements in writing, if possible.
A clear, thoughtful strategy will help you navigate the process with greater control and less conflict.
Divorce can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to go into it blindly. With the right preparation, you can protect your finances, prioritize your family’s well-being, and start the next chapter of your life with confidence.
If you’re considering divorce in New Jersey, talking to an experienced family law attorney early in the process can give you answers to all your questions, helping you avoid costly mistakes. To schedule a consultation with one of our highly skilled family law attorneys, please call us at 888-888-0919, or click the green button below.
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