Questions Your Children May Have
It is no secret that when parents go through a New Jersey divorce, their children go through the process with them. During this uncertain time, each child may react differently to the anxiety and uncertainty of divorce. While some are forthcoming with their feelings, others may become unusually reserved, distant, or aggressive. Yet no matter how your child is behaving, it can be productive and useful to meet with a child psychologist and/or a counselor to learn how to effectively help your children during and after the New Jersey divorce process. A professional can help your children cope with the new parenting arrangements and changes to their environment, while keeping household stress levels at bay.
Helping Your Children Through the Process
The NJ divorce attorneys at Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group have seen firsthand the benefits that a mental health professional can provide. Whether you decide to involve a mental health professional or not, it is important not to discuss the details of your New Jersey divorce in the children's presence. Disparaging the other parent to the children or in the presence of the children can be terribly destructive—both to the children and to your own relationship with them. Your children are probably feeling conflicted about the divorce and negative comments will only serve to deepen their sense of conflict.
While children will respond to a New Jersey divorce in a number of different ways, their questions are remarkably similar. These can include:
- Will the children have to choose sides, or tell a judge where they want to live?
- Will the children have to pretend they don't like one parent in order to make the other parent feel more loved?
- Where will the children live and go to school?
- Who will take the children to their activities?
- Will the fighting between the children's parents ever stop?
- What if the children find out their parents have been lying to them?
- What if the children don't get to see both parents on their birthday?
Minimize the Effects of an NJ Divorce on the Children
When it comes to children and New Jersey divorce, it is important to recognize that the separation process impacts the entire household, not just the parents. While you may long for a separation from your spouse, your children may not share your feelings. Acknowledging these emotional differences is a crucial step towards helping your children adjust, while bringing couples together to effectively co-parent. An experienced New Jersey divorce attorney can help you through these difficult times and connect you with resources to help you and your children both during and at the conclusion of the divorce process.